Life Lessons

13 Work Lessons I Learned Playing Cards with My Cheating Great-Aunts

My great-aunts taught me how to win

We have a lot to be thankful for, the memories through the years, the many times together, full of laughter, full of tears.” -Michelle A. Moran

The game requires speed and accuracy to win, two things that eighty-plus old ladies rarely have. Yet, somehow the great-aunts kept winning against the younger players. Old age and treachery were constantly winning against youth and skill.

My grandmother was the youngest of nineteen children. A surprise baby, her siblings were grown before she was born. But two of her older siblings were still alive in the 1980s. My Aunt Lou and Aunt Sis were my great-aunts, they were at least 80 years old. My mother loved games. As an only child, she longed for a playmate. As a mom with six children, we played games every weekend. My mom, her children, my grandmother, and my great-aunts would play cards most weekends. We played a card game called “Squeak.” The adults would drink ice-cold beer while the kids would eat potato chips and drink Kool-Aid.

The Game

1. In Squeak, each player has their own uniquely marked deck of cards.
2. Each player counts out a stack of eleven cards, then lays out a solitaire hand in front of themselves.
3. Placing the eleven card pile face down, the players simultaneously play solitaire.
4. When you pull an Ace, the Ace is put in the middle of the table. Anyone can put a deuce of the same suit on top of the Ace building the pile up to the King of that suit.
5. Cards from your eleven-card pile move into the solitaire game or into the middle.
6. The game ends when the cards in anyone’s pile are gone, that player yells, “Squeak.”

After Squeak is called, cards from the middle of the table are gathered and counted. Your score is the number of your cards on the table minus cards left in your Squeak pile.

Now, imagine ten players. Everyone is playing to build on the Aces in the middle. Ten players generate forty Ace piles. Forty! The game requires speed and accuracy to win, two things that eighty-plus old ladies rarely have. Yet, somehow the great-aunts kept winning against the younger players.

How were the Aunts winning?

• We figured out that they were cheating us. Because the game is so fast-paced, no one noticed that the aunts seldom put a card on the table, yet somehow, we all had the impression that the aunts played a lot of cards. Each of them would have twenty or thirty cards in the final stack.
• Since taunting is a significant part of any game we play in my family, it took a moment to figure out the many ways they were using old age and treachery to defeat youth and skill.

Since taunting is a significant part of any game we play in my family, it took a moment to figure out the many ways they were using old age and treachery to defeat youth and skill.

• They took full advantage of the fact that we loved them. Giving them hugs and kisses, handing us chocolates before the game, sitting on the porch with my mom, grandma, and the aunts before playing was all part of the game. They would tell us how they were going to whip us at cards.
• Aunt Lou and Aunt Sis would hold their Aces until they had three or four then up then slap them down quickly, one after another with fanfare. This action gave the impression that they were playing a lot of cards.
• They used humor sprinkled with sarcasm to keep us laughing the entire time they were playing us. For example, my Aunt Lou beat me, putting the three of spade out before I could. She smiled at me wickedly and said, “I thought you were the fast one, Rabbit. I’m the better player here,” causing me to sputter while she then put out the four, which I also had.
• The Aunts were observant. They took the time to look around at all of our hands. We young ones were dependent on our speed and accuracy. They used our confidence against us, waiting to beat us at a particular card. Both aunts took much pleasure in this.
• They were old and could not count, or so they claimed. After we caught on that they were giving themselves advantages, they showed no remorse. It turned out that sometimes their Squeak plies had less than six cards in them when we watched them count out eleven. They kept putting the same card down over and over. Tricky.
• Both aunts told distracting, fascinating stories as we were trying to play cards. Hearing stories about their lives and our relatives distracted us, allowing them to record any number for their count total.

Now, imagine if you will: ten players with eleven cards in their squeak pile. Everyone is playing their personal solitaire to move pile cards and looking at the table to build on the Aces in the middle. Ten players generate forty Ace piles. Forty! The game requires speed and accuracy to win, two things that eighty-plus old ladies rarely have. Yet, somehow the old ladies kept winning against the younger players.

The Lessons

What were thirteen things I learned from my aunts that earned me a six-figure salary?

1. Never underestimate older adults. Seniors have forgotten more about some things than you will ever know.
2. When you play, play to win. We did not play with my aunts for money; nevertheless, we paid with our dignity when we lost. Whoever lost would be teased and laughed at by everyone else.
3. Know when to shut up. If you can’t prove it, don’t bother.
4. Sometimes losing is more fun than winning.
5. You don’t have control over the hand they deal you; play the cards in your hand to the best of your ability.
6. There are no shortcuts. To win, you must play. Getting mad and quitting allows you to watch everyone else have fun as you watch from the sidelines.
7. You don’t need to be right every single moment. Being good 80% of the time will make you a winner.
8. Be on the lookout for cheaters. Know what you are going to do about it, even if what you will do is nothing.
9. Karma is a bitch. She will pay you back.
10. Know the rules of the games backward and forward. Use the rules to your advantage.
11. Save yourself — people in charge will not save you.
12. There is always luck. Grin and bear it. Laugh at the circumstances and play on. A coin tossed in the air statistically will come up heads 50% of the time. Because of luck, you can lose 5-coin tosses in a row.
13. Never play hardball unless you are assured of winning. By the time we finished yelling, the aunts were smiling slyly as that was the reaction they wanted all the time. Now, we were mean to older adults and must be nice to compensate. They win. The same goes for peers and bosses.

We couldn’t stop the Aunts

The best part was that no matter what we did, we couldn’t stop them from winning the game. Aunt Lou and Aunt Sis had seventy years of playing the Squeak; we played for less than a year.

They kept us laughing at the random rule changes that were always to their advantage. They were old and outsmarting us every time. Aunt Lou once had all fifty-two of her cards in the count. That is not possible. None of us saw how she did it, and no one has ever figured it out.

The main thing that playing cards with my aunts taught me was how to work with anyone. Life rules are about relationships and communication. The aunts were cheating us; we knew it but could do nothing about it.

We loved those two old women even more because they made the effort to cheat us.

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books. Her bestselling business book, ‘Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends, ‘ won a Gold Readers Award.

Join the Conversation-Visit My Facebook Community

Subscribe to My Newsletter

Visit My Website