13 Insights From Schoolyard Friendships That Transformed My Financial Success

The things you learn when you’re young stick with you the longest

Ever find yourself wandering back in time to when you were 13?

In those days, the hunger for popularity was everything. I remember late at night, sprawled across my bedroom floor, I would catalog my social circle in a tiny notebook. Best friends, close friends, acquaintances — each had their own numbered list.

Yes, this was pre-Facebook, even pre-MySpace. And there I was already learning to count friends.

Fast forward to now and the goals have changed. It’s not popularity anymore — now, we’re all on the hunt for money.

Even with that new target, the strategies to win are remarkably similar.

13 Friendship Lessons That Shaped My Financial Success

The major lessons that teenage friendships taught me transformed my path to financial success.

✨Lesson #1: The world is full of shiny things. Ignore them.

I remember thinking the most popular kids in school had everything. The Megans, Mayras, and Spencers were beautiful, naturally likable, and funny people.

They had all the shiny things I wanted.

It took graduating from high school to realize the veneer was fake. There was nothing under the surface.

Remember: We all have a hunger for approval.

All the shiny things in the world won’t satisfy it. Don’t waste your time or money on them.

🗣️Lesson #2: Don’t gossip

I remember the first time I was invited to an uber-popular girl’s house.

I was sitting on the couch when she came up to me and said “Did you know Katie might be pregnant?” I was shocked — it was a crazy kind of thing that happened in the movies.

But the truth was I didn’t care and it wasn’t my business.

I thought less of her for telling me the secret and still think less of people who do it today.

I’ve talked to managers who didn’t promote staff because they didn’t think they were trustworthy, precisely because of this kind of behaviour.

Gossip and you’ll break trust, burn bridges, and lose opportunities.

🛡️Lesson #3: Even the strongest things can be broken. Protect them.

After 10 years of friendship, I lost my best friend Vanessa when we got into a serious fight, and neither one of us put in the effort to fix it.

I have a lot of regret about that.

At the time, I simply thought our friendship could never break.

I learned that lesson a second time professionally — a similar thing happened when I lost my first full-time job. I was losing faith in the company, but I thought they needed me and that I was irreplaceable.

Then I got fired.

The only person you’re irreplaceable to is your mom — everyone else can and will drop you if you’re not showing up.

🚌Lesson #4: Don’t throw people under the bus

My best friend’s little sister Kayla was like the little sister I never had.

Once we were eating dinner at her house and she was complaining to her mom that she was breaking out, and her mom was telling her to stop picking her pimples.“But I’m not picking them” she snarled.

I stuck my nose in. “Natalie (her mom’s name), I don’t think Kayla picks her pimples. It must be something else.”

Natalie frowned at me. “She does pick them and she blames you for showing her how.”

Oof.

I felt instantly betrayed. I didn’t even remember showing Kayla how to pick a pimple. The sting burned badly, and at that moment it taught me not to throw people under the bus.

People will remember.

⚖️Lesson #5: Comparison is the death of joy (and of real success)

We all have a Maria Giammarco.

Maria was my good friend and she was smarter than me. In every single subject. Her consistently high grades frustrated me so much like there was something I was fundamentally missing.

No matter how much I studied, I could never beat her.

I focused so much on her, on beating her, that frankly, I took my eye off the ball. I wasn’t studying as hard as I could have. I wasn’t disciplined or staying consistent.

The same is true professionally. If you try too hard to emulate other people, you’ll deviate from your own path.

I have my own strengths. Now that we’re older, I’m really proud of what I achieved and our grades didn’t forecast our futures at all.

👖Lesson #6: If it’s not a fit, move on.

In elementary school, I had a friend named Carley.

She was a punk rock, gothy, artistic wild child. We got along as kids — we had similar friends and loved Zelda. But as I moved through life, I found I had less in common with her. We had fewer shared goals.

I slowly started declining more and more of her invitations to hang out because being around her brought me down.

And I realized —I was allowed to let her go. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Just like being in the wrong job. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing, sometimes, it’s just not a fit. Better for everyone if you move on.

🙏Lesson #7: Give more than you get.

One day after school, my best friend’s little sister gave me these pink and purple beaded necklaces.

Then, when her mom came to get her, she cried and cried that she wanted them back. The thing is, I really wanted them. And she gave them to me.

But I wanted her to be happy more.

So when she wasn’t looking, I snuck them into her backpack. She didn’t say anything to me the next day in school, but I saw her wearing them.

The same mindset gets you ahead in work (and life). When you give back to people, especially when you don’t have to — give them career support, or do a task for them that you didn’t need to — you’ll earn their goodwill.

It will come back to you 10x later.

🕓Lesson #8: Putting the time in early on

Very few friendships come easy in the beginning. You’ll go through awkward conversational silences and small talk and forced moments.

Money comes in a similarly slow way.

When you’re early in a relationship or in your career, you’ve gotta tough your way through the hard, uncomfortable beginning stages when there’s less traction and you’re still learning and you’re not seeing growth.

It will come. Be patient. Keep going.

🔥Lesson #9: Don’t burn bridges

Some people will deserve to be taken down a notch.

Whatever you do — don’t take action into your own hands.

Karma will do the heavy lifting for you. And you might be surprised, the people you could’ve gone scorched earth on, but didn’t, can come back and help you in surprising ways.

🐍Lesson #10: Don’t inspire jealousy (if you can help it)

Remember the shiny things I mentioned in lesson #1?

Another reason to avoid them is that, if you get them, people get jealous.

I remember when I got to high school, I started working out and lost 5 pounds. Suddenly a lot of my friends wanted to lose weight too. They started treating me differently, distancing themselves from me, and not including me in hangouts.

If you grow, you’re inevitably going to acquire things that people want.

People prone to jealousy will try to take them from you or knock you down. It’s not your fault. But you can protect yourself by not flaunting your good hand.

💖Lesson #11: Focus on what actually matters to you

When it comes to friendships and professional life, focus on what you enjoy.

The best friends I made were ones I shared interests with, like soccer and board games, where we had common goals for our future, and we were equally ambitious.

That philosophy has never failed me.

Look for people, projects, and jobs that are aligned with you.

🌎Lesson #12: The world out there is bigger than you can see

Meeting Karly in undergrad fundamentally changed my view on friendships.

Prior to meeting her, I thought I wouldn’t make more close friends after high school.

But we became really close really fast. She showed me different perspectives on everything from school to relationships to work. I realized that as long as I stayed open to it, my world would constantly expand.

The same is true in work. As you meet more people, prove yourself, and grow, you’ll discover new worlds, new opportunities, and new avenues you never saw.

The world you see right now is small. Don’t limit yourself, and it will grow beyond your wildest dreams.

🏋️Lesson #13: It will always require work

Whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a job, there’s one thing you can’t escape— keeping it going will always require work.

We don’t talk about this enough — the fact that life itself is work.

Everything good requires day-in and day-out effort.

The harder you work, the better the rewards.

☀️Bonus Lesson: Focus on your character

The one thing that friendships and earning money taught me is that the more valuable of a person you are, the more you’ll have of both.

People of character and integrity are valuable.

They’ll attract all the best things in life.

I made a lot of mistakes as a kid. I got burned by them.

Remembering those lessons and making sure I don’t repeat them is the most authentic way I know of to grow and become better.

That’s really what we’re all after.

Hi! I’m Celia👋 I appreciate you reading this post! If you’d like to read more about writing, psychology, and productivity, give me a follow.