TIPS AND TRICKS

13 Easy Cocktail Recipes for a Scintillating Party of One

Or how to move on from 2023

I’m spending New Year’s Eve at home. There I said it. Now you can too.

There comes a point where one has to reevaluate their priorities. Choose sweatpants over itchy fabrics, not spend their money on cover charges, and how did I ever stand loud music and strange bodies packed like sardines?

The goal is simple — we want to forget the year. And 2023 needs to be over.

Just because we’re alone and indoors doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. Mixing cocktails offers the right amount of activity and amusement. Online recipes can look like integration formulas, but I have magical solutions.

Before I get you drunk, let me offer some disclaimers.

Vodka is going to appear three times on my list. My definition of a cocktail is anything I didn’t grab from a shelf without a second glance. If I slice an orange, open a can of coke, or rinse a tumbler, it’s effort. And it counts.

1. Beer with butterscotch ice cream inspired by Butterbeer.
2. Instant rosé by mixing red and white wine. It feels fancier.
3. Jack and coke. Because classics never let you down.
4. Vodka and Tropicana cranberry juice. Lose the lime wedge.
5. Tequila — neat. Come on, live a little.
6. Gin with tonic, but watered down. Pretend you’re at a hip club.
7. This one isn’t easy, but totally worth it. Jello shots.
8. Mountain Dew and apple cider vinegar. A non-alcoholic blast.
9. Hoegaarden. Squeeze an orange slice down the bottle.
10. Hot green tea with vodka. If you’re feeling cold.
11. Coffee and Kahlua. It’ll help you stay up past midnight.
12. Sparkling wine with orange juice. Time it with the calendar.
13. Coconut water with 15 ml (0.5 oz) of white rum. A hangover cure.

Netflix pairs very well with cocktails. I make a watchlist that ideally lasts me all weekend. This brings about an odd sense of comfort with a genuine guarantee of escape. Last year, I did a horror movie marathon. It was fun.

A 48-hour social media detox is highly recommended.

I used to write New Year’s resolutions. And create year-in-review folders. Now they offer some excellent comedy material. It makes for a cool game.

For food, I have a two-pronged strategy. Start hoarding snacks about fifteen days in advance. Whatever you think you need? Double it. Especially chips.

The main course should be something easy to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m not great at handling cutlery when I’m drunk. My go-to is Pizza. Which I pair with fries and coke. The grease starts acting like a sponge.

I try to catch the sunrise on the 1st. Then I crash.

Technically, it’s a party of two, transitioning into one. But I wanted to stress the latter because I want the trend to catch on. Seriously. Homebodies for the win.

If you choose to go out and party, send me pictures so I can experience FOMO.

Next up, how to face the first week of January.