THERAPY IN THE TIME OF LOCKDOWN

12 Questions That Will Help You to Count Your Blessings

Get ready to be surprised with your own answers

A trendy questionnaire took shape here on the Medium platform at the start of the month, and a couple of you tagged me. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me, but not until today could I bring myself to attend to it, as I was too busy daydreaming and counting my blessings.

“None of us will forget the year 2020. Our lives turned upside down, inside out, and tangled with emotion. Most of us know nothing about confinement or forced stay at home orders — until now.” — Kathryn A. LeRoy, Ph.D.

So well assessed. I agree and add, none of us over the age of six will ever forget the year 2020. This one is worth contemplation and journaling. So, for those with pens, pencils, or crayons at the ready what are the things you’ll undoubtedly remember about 2020? Join in with your answers.

I take my cue from Keno Ogbo who started a chain reaction of introspection among writers when she wrote “My 12 Answers: Making Sense of My Lockdown Moment.” Her essay has been viewed countless times and the challenge has made the rounds across the globe as writers from diverse locations have penned beautifully on the subject.

I quote from Keno Ogbo’s other article:

For introverts, lockdown is bliss. For extroverts, frustration. For those in great relationships, it’s rediscovery, for others not so lucky, a living hell. The ‘shielded’ are wrapped indoors in fear. The poor queue outside a food bank shoulder rubbing others.

Whatever your lockdown moments are, one thing is common for all. lockdown will hold a mirror to your soul. You will be faced with the truth.

You will be faced with the truth of who you really are, and perhaps that person needs to change.

You will be faced with the truth of who you really are, and perhaps, that person needs to emerge.

You will be faced with the truth of who you really are and perhaps that person needs to be loved and comforted

Perhaps, you need friends, or a meaningful job, or forgiveness, or hope, or growth. Perhaps you need GOD.

Lockdown is a word I equate with being incarcerated, but incarceration is not what I feel our current global state to be. As such, I associate our state with the curfew that I experienced as a teenager. Allow me to explain.

In their best parenting capacity, my parents allowed me the freedom to wander and wonder and to be, under the condition that I adhere to one conscientious rule.

An altruistic rule, really, which was to sublimate the worries of my parents and afford me to remain in good standing with the small community I grew up in.

I’m not entirely sure that is how my parents meant it, but that is how my mind interpreted it.

My curfew was not to protect me from monsters who might roam in the shadows of the night but to help me to feel the empowerment that I was not the one causing a racket in the neighborhood.

It made perfect sense to me, as in my small town, dogs, tethered to posts, acting as sentinels came into their night-shift when the lights in the houses went out.

I took well to this, as no one likes to be awoken, fearing the idea of the walking dead roaming outside.

That is how I saw my curfew then and how that small town lesson has helped me to sublimate my desire to fight the current conditions we all find ourselves in. The main point being that as a global race we choose to cohere to the curfew so that we can all get a good night’s sleep.

That was the kind of mindset I grew up respecting.

I’ve tried to read as many articles on this questionnaire and I’ve become enamored with all the answers.

I thank you all for giving me a glimpse into your lives and here I will attempt to do the same for you.

But first, two worthy mentions.

In question #2: The best thing about lockdown Kevin’s response made so much sense to me. I feel that he too chooses to see things with a positive mindset. I loved his reply:

I wouldn’t know. If I can shift the topic and ask “what’s the best thing about staying home 24/7?” then I’d answer being there for my daughter, seeing her grow up. I know my own dad worked from early in the morning until late at night, I only ever really saw him on the weekends.

Being able to stick close to my daughter from the beginning is a blessing. I can see all her milestones and achievements firsthand. — Kevin Buddaeus

And Chris. Read for yourself.

#12. “If you were to leave a ‘message in a bottle’ for the future, what would you say?

“Weight information with an eye on the truth. Don’t “drink the bleach” offered by any “cult leader.” Wear a mask. People are mostly good. A couple of outliers will always get attention, but most people aren’t those people. Things will be better in the future. Times of challenge brings out people’s leadership skills (or lack thereof). We can use that information to evaluate who will be better suited to lead us in the future. We can plan how to be resilient and to prepare for future issues. We can change the future for the better.” — Chris Hedges

Wow, Chris. Just, wow. Respect!

As for me and my life and my answers to the questions, here we go:

1. What have you missed the most during lockdown?

Riding the trains; sitting at a restaurant with friends drinking wine and enjoying steamed muscles and a face-to-face chat; visiting my used-book store.

2. What’s the best thing about being in lockdown?

Recognizing that everything I need already populates my world. I have an abundant life because I say so.

3. What has been the worst thing about being in lockdown?

Hearing about more pain and more struggle. Realizing that it will take more than a stupid virus to eradicate, annihilate, and uproot all the bad that lives in some people’s hearts.

As a side note, this is one reason I cannot watch violence on television. The architects of these programs are humans, how can they think these things?

Stop thinking these things people. When you think them you breathe life into them.

Please think better scenarios. Manifest more goodness for everyone’s sake. I am begging you.

That said, I have hope that it will come to be.

4. Who would you have liked to host in your home during the lockdown and why?

My father died when I was in my 20’s. My mother died five years ago. With them gone, and my darling husband by my side, I’m afraid I wouldn’t like to host anyone. We’re managing just fine, thank you very much.

5. What have you discovered about yourself in lockdown?

I adapt. I always knew I could. But now I’ve rediscovered that the best way to see the beauty of every day — which is never ever repeated — is to keep on adapting especially because tomorrow is not promised.

6. What did you eat (or drink) the most during the lockdown?

Eat — same as I always have, three meals a day where bread or rice are staples;

the occasional vegan cookie my neighbor shares with me now — that’s new.

He used to bake his cookies differently, but this year his young son went vegan; thus he shares vegan cookies.

Drink — more water. Definitely more water than before.

7. Apart from sleeping and working what activities did you undertake the most during the lockdown?

Writing, yes but not as much as I would have wanted to. But that’s mostly because I worked tirelessly on accepting that I was in charge of my own website.

I had been fighting techy things, namely, Jetpack because someone in-the-know assured me I didn’t need it. They were wrong. I need Jetpack.

That acceptance proved to me that nothing is just black and white. (that’s deep to me).

I’ve also spent a lot of time just daydreaming and loving it. TYVM.

8. Will you come out of lockdown heavier or lighter?

Oh my… Let me share an intimate detail of my story with you. My beautiful husband has taken to fixing dinner for the two of us for at least three nights of the workweek. He loves it you see. And being home, working, doing the cooking helps him to switch gears. I let him. It works for me.

So, the answer to this one is probably yes, heavier. And truth be told, I don’t mind it.

But there is more. I find that I share a thought with Dipti. I hope it’s the same for me. So I quote her:

“Existentially, I hope heavier. I hope this period helps me grow spiritually and personally.” — Dipti Pande

9. What resource has helped you most during the lockdown?

The internet has been a godsend. It has been 100% of the reason why I don’t feel isolated in isolation. Oh my! This is a blessing. The evolution of our humanness is extraordinary. May we continue to grow in this field without losing our vital human parts.

Books too. But this is nothing new…

And while these that follow might not be considered resources, I wish to list them.

The resiliency of our first responders. I have no words to express how this show of connectivity with what matters has helped me. I knew our race was magnificent this way and tuning into this event and extracting this truth for all the world to see has helped me to relax and to believe more in our commonality. This I find to be a crucial balance. Thank you.

My optimistic mindset. Not new either. But it has never been as evident to me as it is right now.

At the risk of sounding bloated, but honestly hoping you don’t think it so, I love the workings of my mind that was borne of a small town and nurtured there as well. It has definitely helped me during this lockdown.

10. What is your top tip for other people in lockdown right now?

Find your anchor and pivot. Trust on the ambiguity of tomorrow and know that if you are everything you can be in every moment, the ambiguity of the future will not be as frightful as it sounds.

11. How has lockdown changed you?

That it has changed me, I’m sure it has. I have just always had a Pollyanna-ish gladness for things so I just cannot pinpoint how it has changed me.

Um… Perhaps I get much more teary-eyed now? Nah! Scratch that!

I don’t want to think about that. I have too much daydreaming left to do. Allow me.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. — Rumi

12. If you were to leave a ‘message in a bottle’ for the future, what would you say?

Stop waiting for Friday. For Summer. For someone to fall in love with you. For Life. For Permission.

Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it.

Stop looking for yourself in others. In things. In outside validation. In trends. In drugs.

Everything you are is already within you. Trust!

Make the best of the moment you are in now, for this moment is the only one that matters.

Believe that you are no mistake. Believe that you are the Miracle you’ve been waiting for.

Manifest goodness and let goodness be your guide.

And lastly, #13, I live in Japan. Whereabouts? Well, by train, I’m an hour and a half southeast of Tokyo. Nothing short of extraordinary. We’re surrounded by greenery and a lovely coastline and on a fine day, we command a gorgeous view of Mt. Fuji.

The allergy-discomforts that make spring unbearable for me have all but evaporated. We’ve had cloudy skies every day this week, and the temperature is at a pleasant 14 degrees Celcius. All too wonderful.

This concludes the questionnaire. I thank all my cross pollinators and invite you to continue enlightening the world with your extraordinary humanness and love. Desiree Driesenaar, Daniella Mini, Michele Thill, Amy Marley, Tim Maudlin, Sherry McGuinn, Henery X (long). I love you all individually.

The hidden bonus I did not see coming when I started answering this questionnaire is that I found it extremely therapeutic for my soul at this time of lockdown.

THANK YOU FOR READING. I Wish You Miracles.