12 Brutally Honest Quotes from “Quit Lit” about Addiction

We need to shift the way we talk about our relationship with alcohol

I’ve struggled with alcohol abuse for most of my adult life.

Okay, let’s be honest: for my whole life. The story was written from the moment I first bought a six-pack at fourteen and was cracking open bottles with my teeth while everyone was cheering me on. I was the life of the party.

I never wanted that feeling to go away.

I always knew deep down I didn’t have a normal relationship with alcohol. I blacked out all throughout my undergrad, and when I moved away from home, I found it easier to slip into my addiction, often going through a bottle of wine to myself on weeknights, waking up and drinking to “cure” my hangover from the night before.

Honestly, I was never really in denial about it either. I’d beat myself up repeatedly for my behaviour, and I’d scroll on internet forums, trying to reach out to someone, anybody for help.

I did try and talk to some people in my life about it, but every time I was met with:

You don’t have a problem!

So many people our age drink like you do.

You really didn’t act that bad.

You’re not an alcoholic.

These responses only enabled me to continue with this cycle for years. If I don’t have a problem, there’s nothing to fix, right?

After a while, I grew tired of my own bullshit, as Elizabeth Gilbert famously said. I was tired of letting alcohol control my life, tired of alcohol preventing me from reaching my goals, and tired of alcohol messing up my relationships. I was starting to realize that the only thing alcohol gave me was a hangover, extra pounds, and feelings of guilt, shame, depression.

The key to starting my mostly alcohol-free journey (I admit I am not sober, but I am on the path—trying to practice mindful drinking when I still do occasionally drink) was discovering Quit Lit — memoirs and self-help books exploring our relationship with alcohol. The most life-changing one for me was Sarah Hepola’s Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget. I also loved Annie Grace’s book and podcast This Naked Mind, which discusses society’s relationship with alcohol as a whole and how deeply ingrained it is in our culture.

We need to shift the way we talk about our relationship with alcohol. It’s not just the stereotypical “alcoholic” who struggles; alcohol is a drug, and it is naturally addictive.

In reflecting upon all of this, I thought I’d share some brutally honest quotes from Quit Lit that have resonated with me the most.

“Alcohol was the gasoline of all adventure.” — Sarah Hepola, Blackout

“One of my favorite ways to have sex was right before a blackout, when I was still there but I’d gone feral, and I could let all those low and dirty words spill out of my mouth. Do this. Do that. But now I wasn’t sure if I liked sex that way because it felt good or because guys dug it when I got wild. That’s what I wanted more than my own pleasure. To make myself irresistible. To blow his freaking mind.” — Sarah Hepola, Blackout

“The blackouts were horrible. It was hideous to let those nights slide into a crack in the ground. But even scarier was to take responsibility for the mess I’d made. Even scarier was to remember your own life.” — Sarah Hepola, Blackout

“Not taking a drink was easy. Just a matter of muscle movement, the simple refusal to put alcohol to my lips. The impossible part was everything else. How could I talk to people? Who would I be? What would intimacy look like, if it weren’t coaxed out by the glug-glug of a bottle of wine or a pint of beer? Would I have to join AA? Become one of those frightening 12-step people? How the fuck could I write? My livelihood, my identity, my purpose, my light — all extinguished with the tightening of a screw cap.” — Sarah Hepola, Blackout

“An inability to control how much you drink is not a sign of weakness.” — Annie Grace, This Naked Mind

“Humans are not satisfied with simply existing. We look for more. No other animal questions their purpose in life or how they fit into the universe. This is one of the remarkable features that makes us uniquely human. But this questioning often creates a void inside us. We have more questions than answers, which causes tension. We desire more. This affliction is often called ‘the wound of existence.’” — Annie Grace, This Naked Mind

“Alcohol erases a bit of you every time you drink it. It can even erase entire nights when you are on a binge. Alcohol does not relieve stress; it erases your senses and your ability to think. Alcohol ultimately erases your self.” — Annie Grace, This Naked Mind

“When people become addicted to alcohol, it’s seen as their failure. They didn’t pass the ‘moderate use of an addictive drug’ challenge. They failed at drinking! Society expects us to regularly use an addictive drug, without becoming addicted to it. Alcohol is the only drug where, the second you stop taking it, you’re seen as being too weak to handle it. It’s truly bizarre.” — Catherine Gray, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober

“Blackouts were commonplace right from the get-go. I thought everyone experienced lost hours of nights out — turns out they don’t.” — Catherine Gray, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober

“This is the singular, hard truth I come up against every day: I am the only one responsible for my experience.” — Laura McKowen, We Are the Luckiest

“My drinking — and whatever it is you do to feel better — was born of a natural impulse to soothe, to connect, to feel love. And although alcohol hadn’t actually delivered those things, it was absolutely yoked to them in my mind. In my heart and body, too. It was just what I knew.” — Laura McKowen, We Are the Luckiest

“Over time, and with each right choice, I got stronger. I started to feel something magical growing inside me, getting bigger, more substantial, and pulsing with life. Something like dignity.” — Laura McKowen, We Are the Luckiest

What are some of your favourite quit lit quotes?