12 Attributes Of Above Average People — According To Philosophy

The mind is only as receptive as it is humble.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

To live well is to approach life with the right philosophies.

Success, happiness, and a life well-lived are not secrets. There is no magic formula, hack, or trick to them. Instead, there are the timeless habits and traits that have remained true for thousands of years and will remain true forevermore.

The greatest lessons we can apply to our lives have already been figured out, and have been echoed by philosophy over and over, for ages. Why? Because there is truth to them, validity, because they work. These tools of personal power have made all the difference for great people for centuries, and can make the same difference for you.

12 Attributes of Above Average People

1: They Respect — And Exercise — Their Power Over Their Reactions

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus

You, me, everyone has control over their reactions — if they so choose to commit to mastering the habit. This regulation of reaction and perception is a core aspect of stoic philosophy.

We don’t control what happens most of the time. We can’t control markets or weather or traffic or the behavior of strangers. But we can always control how we respond, and history’s best understood that is what matters most — that it’s not what happens, but our response, that determines our directions, our results, and our lives.

2: They See Happiness As A Decision, Not A Goal

“A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

As Abraham Lincoln would later echo, we are as happy a we make up our minds to be. As tacky as it sounds, happiness is a decision, often a daily one, and yet most people turn it into a conditional reward.

Money, career success, they play a role to be sure, but when there are CEO’s and movie stars who are miserable, there’s clearly more to happiness than that. Things can only take us so far. There is an internal aspect, and it is this: to give yourself permission to be happy.

3: They Listen More Than They Speak

“Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds.” — Marcus Aurelius

Listening is a powerful skill, and to listen to someone, to truly listen, is the mark of an above average person, for most people are not good listeners even though most people think they are.

As Epictetus said, we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. To stand apart from the majority, we must become good listeners and selective speakers. As Tim Denning wrote, there is power in saying less.

4: They Have A Vivid Direction In Life — And A Purpose

“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Why are you here? What is your purpose? What is your raison d’être?

People who rise above the norm, who achieve their own unique form of greatness, know the answers to those questions. Having a vivid, defined purpose, often written down like Dale Carnegie did in his younger years, has the important effect of organizing your effort, bringing your power to bear on something tangible, consistent, and directed.

Yet many people work hard and go in circles, never having defined and created a life they want. It is as Marcus Aurelius wrote in his journal: “People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time — even when hard at work.”

5: They Are Truly Kind

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Kindness is the mark of a great spirit, a noble heart, and is indeed a trait seen by philosophy as a strength rather than a weakness. Not false kindness, not weak doormat kindness, not egotistical kindness that has many strings attached, but the true, strong, unfettered kindness that gives and asks for nothing in return, that gives from a position of personal power and abundance.

Marcus Aurelius, in his time the most powerful person in the known world as the emperor of Rome, wrote that kindness, as long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy, is unconquerable. It is a strength to be valued and nourished.

6: They Do Not Rely On Luck

“I was once a fortunate man but at some point fortune abandoned me. But true good fortune is what you make for yourself. Good fortune: good character, good intentions, and good actions.” — Marcus Aurelius

Luck is a very fickle mistress. The best luck is the kind we make for ourselves. Luck plays a role in some successes, to be sure, but most of the world’s greats, and history’s wonders, were not by chance, but by this simple formula: blood, sweat, and tears.

Seneca, the great Roman stoic philosopher, once said that no one has ever been wise by chance. Few are exceptional by chance either. Most people sit around and wait on luck to make things better, overestimating their luck. The above average don’t wait. They get up and create their own — through the right character, the right intentions, and the right actions.

7: They Are Intellectually Humble

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” — Epictetus

The mind is only as receptive as it is humble. Someone who thinks they know it all, who believes that he is so educated that he does not need to be taught, is not only foolish, but an incalculable idiot. As Epictetus, and many philosophers before and after him have taught, a greater person is the one who accepts the limits of his or her knowledge, and seeks not to be right, but simply truth.

Marcus Aurelius, one of the Five Good Emperors, showed this same intellectual humility:

“If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.”

8: They Practice The Art Of Contentment

“Any man who does not think that what he has is more than ample, is an unhappy man, even if he is the master of the whole world.” — Epicurus

Wealth is not just money. Wealth is a mindset.

Philosophy has long recognized this truth, which today has become very popular in the personal development field. Especially in our consumerist culture, more and more people find that their possessions are not enough, and keep chasing more — instead of realizing that the true malady is within, in their minds.

Epictetus, who was born into slavery, said that wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. And when asked who is rich, he said this:

“He who is content.”

Anyone can want more and more. It takes an above average person to master the art of contentment.

9: They Are Not Ashamed To Ask For Help

“Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” — Marcus Aurelius

Asking for help takes strength. Being honest with yourself and others, to know when you are in over your head. It takes a certain amount of humility to admit this, but it is also an act of strength — Aurelius, as strong as he was as Rome’s emperor, understood this very well, and so can we.

10: They Take Full Responsibility For Their Lives

“You have to assemble your life yourself — action by action. And be satisfied if each one achieves its goal, as far as it can. No one can keep that from happening.” — Marcus Aurelius

One of the cornerstones of great people is taking responsibility — for their lives, for their careers, for their growth, for their wins and failures, for their wrongdoings, everything. And as Marcus said, only we can create our own lives, only we can make our dreams come true.

No one else can get you to where you wish to go. Others can help you, yes, but everything begins, and ends, by your action, your will, your intent. You must take responsibility for and craft a life action by action, brick by brick.

This means not blaming others or circumstances too. It means not stooping so low as to play the blame game, which is a waste of energy. As Epictetus said, small-minded people blame others, average people blame themselves, but the wise see all blame as foolishness.

11: They Radically Protect Their Focus

“The value of attentiveness varies in proportion to its object. You’re better off not giving the small things more time than they deserve.” — Marcus Aurelius

Our focus is only as valuable as what we put it on. Many people waste their focus on little things, on entertainment and distractions instead of their legacy and gifts to the world. Above average people respect their focus, protect it, and radically ensure that they focus on what matters most.

12: They Are Filled With Love

“If you wished to be loved, love.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A life without love is incomplete and hollow. Possessions, success, power, fame — it all falls short, if you are in it alone. Seneca, in an era where the Roman empire was bathing in power and riches and high society was opulent, said it well then as it is now:

“There is no enjoying the possession of anything valuable unless one has someone to share it with.”

Above average people are filled with love for others, and are not afraid to show it. So for those we share our lives with, as Marcus Aurelius wrote, let us treat them with love, real love.

You do not need to be a billionaire to be great.

As tacky as it sounds, all you need is love. True love.

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