11 Uncomfortable Signs of a Toxic Relationship That Might Be Ruining Your Life
Are you in a manipulative relationship? Spot a manipulator before you spiral down in their toxic manipulation.
Toxic people are everywhere. They may be a co-worker, your ex, or a relative. Spotting them is easy when you are at a distance.
But it is hard once you are in close relation with them. You excuse them way more than enough, but still, it is never enough for them.
The lies, distortion, and manipulation confuse you. To solve this puzzle, you lose your true self in bits and pieces until you become entirely non-identifiable.
Love is a beautiful thing. It transforms one's life. But keeping yourself in the back seat in a relationship makes things worse. Respect and love should be mutual.
When you are not served respect, it is time to leave the table. Stop losing sight of your truth before it's too late. Spot a manipulator.
1. They Blame You for Their Every Suffering
Repeated allegations and criticism are the norms in any toxic relationship. Somehow, you are the root cause of their suffering. Everything was beautiful before you came along.
The blame game is the sharpest tool of any manipulator. The constant bickering drops your confidence.
Dr. George Simon, Ph.D., confirms that disturbed characters habitually blame others for their blunders. They resist changing their problematic behavior pattern and attitudes.
Making you lose your confidence boosts their power over you. They can then make you believe anything they want to.
2. They Use Comparison to Pull You Down
'My ex used to drop and pick me up from the office. My mother never left her kids alone, but you couldn't care less. Our neighbor takes care of the house, kids, and business; you should try harder. Your brother is so good at taking care of his family; what happened to you.'
They compare you with the people who are more successful than you. They use comparison to demean your efforts.
If you protest, they will label you hypersensitive, always ready to fight. This type of manipulation produces feelings of inadequacy in the victim.
3. They Overwhelm You by Recounting Your Every Past Mistake
They never forget your ledger of past mistakes. A mild accusation from you activates their memory. Before you know it, an endless list of your inadequate past actions pins you down.
It overwhelms you. Again, self-doubt rises. This becomes their strategy to control you from following your heart and going astray.
4. Exaggerating Your Mistake and Manipulating Their Story With Plain Lies
In their mind, they are always right. Even if it means dragging your truth down and distorting their truths, they can never digest you being right.
Omitting the crucial aspect of the story is their most significant manipulation tactic. Then can not afford to be wrong. So they hide their story and can even become aggressive if you find out their lies.
It can make you fearful of their volatile temperament. You stop sharing your intense feeling and withdraw from them. This withdrawal again becomes their weapon for why you don't share yourself.
5. Controlling You in the Name of Responsibility
The responsibility of any relationship is equal on both sides. A single person can never drag the entire weight of a relationship, especially those you don't like.
There is never a ground for balance. Manipulators make you bear something for the sake of a relationship, even if it is against your belief systems.
They can live a fun-filled life. But when it comes to dividing responsibility, they take a back step. They count their overwhelming work and commitment; without understanding your limitations.
They are subtly forcing you to do something that you despise. They demand you make amendments with no effort on their part. As usual, they are always right on their demand.
6. They Give Subtle Ultimatums of Leaving You if You Don't Behave According To Them
They feed on your insecurities and vulnerabilities. They try every trick to make you dependent on them. It can be in the name of love, relation, security, etc.
Once they are sure you won't leave, they will hint at leaving you if you don't follow their rules.
It does not happen in a day. It happens so slowly that you gradually sink into the wormhole of manipulation—the fear of losing (so-called loving) well-wisher grips you. Then you become a puppet in their hands.
7. They Are Pros at Playing Dumb
When you want to talk about a problem, they know how to play dumb. It makes you question your judgment.
They are players at not understand things when it suits them. Their cunning display of naiveness can make you give them the benefit of the doubt.
8. Their Life Always Have More Problems Than You Have
'I wish you don't have to deal with the immense mental pressure I am bearing right now. You can't imagine how difficult it is to make a living on my stressful job. I am seeking medical help for my problems; what do you know about my struggles.'
Whenever you go to the manipulator with your problems, they will pretend to have more problems than you. Their life is always more complicated than yours.
Your problems are nothing in front of their hugely disappointing life. The reason seems haphazard where they can not provide a logical explanation. It can be a fictitious physical/mental ailment, a friend they are helping, or urgency at work.
The excuse to gain sympathy is simple — 'Don't disturb me and show me some more respect and love.'
9. They Act As Martyrs
"I'm tolerating your mother because of you. I slog myself in the office on the weekend for you. I was up till 3 AM to make something for you'"
Their list of martyrdom is endless. They want to force you to believe that they are doing everything for a relationship whereas your contribution is insignificant.
This pressurizes you to believe that you are the one who does something wrong. In contrast, another person is sacrificing so much.
10. They Make You Crazy
They love to keep you in the dark. This way, they take advantage of your confusion. They make you believe that what you think and feel about them is your figment of imagination.
'Was her message flirty, or do I imagine it? Did he mean he will be there or not?'
If you cannot trust your inner instincts, that means you are being manipulated.
11. Deep Down You Become Alone, Fearful, and Resist Any Talk
You lie when someone asks about your well-being. The dread of opening up your heart and vulnerabilities becomes intense. You avoid relying on your impulses.
Deep down, you become alone and fearful. In extreme cases, you may experience panic attacks. You gradually fall into the pitfall of helplessness.
Takeaways
Constant long-term emotional manipulation can cause guilt, fear, anxiety, and panic attacks. A feeling of worthlessness sucks the life out of you. No relation is worth where you are not respected.
Without support, it takes time for the victim to stand for themselves. Beware when someone shows these signs of manipulation.
Keep one rule handy — a relationship is not worth your time if someone demands you change yourself. Loving yourself is one thing where you can not compromise ever.
Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you. ― Karl Lagerfeld
Become a Medium member for $5 per month for full access to unlimited stories. If you sign up using my link, I'll earn a small commission (without you paying extra). :)
