100 Days of Meditation — This is what happened

For a long time, I didn’t believe that meditation could help me. But my self-experiment exceeded my expectations: The daily ritual made me more productive, more relaxed and more motivated.

An old Zen proverb says: “Meditate for 20 minutes a day, unless you don’t have time, then meditate for an hour.” Anyone who has not yet felt the power of meditation first-hand may think this is a load of nonsense. But after 100 days of consistently meditating every day, usually for 20 minutes at a time, the above saying perfectly describes my new relationship with mindfulness practice. Since the self-experiment, meditation has become one of the most important parts of my everyday life.

But where does my enthusiasm come from? To explain, I’ll now take you through the 100 days of my experiment — and a little beyond.

But first, an important note: just because I felt a lot of positive effects during my self-experiment doesn’t necessarily mean they came from meditation. My experiment was not a self-contained laboratory experiment, but took place in the middle of my everyday life. Every day is different and a person’s well-being depends on many different variables. Nevertheless, I am convinced that at least some of the experiences I have described are related to meditation. Scientific studies also at least indicate that meditation can have a positive effect on well-being:

Meditation self-experiment: all good things come in threes

I misunderstood meditation for a long time. As someone who doesn’t attach great importance to spirituality, I only saw it as a relaxation exercise. I didn’t believe in real enlightenment anyway and the thought of sitting still for minutes every day seemed like a waste of time to me. Nevertheless, I gave it a try from time to time.

The first attempt was to watch guided meditations on the internet. But the videos never explained what meditation really does and I quickly lost my motivation. A few months later, I tried meditation apps again. One of them managed to keep me focused for at least a week. However, this was more due to their fancy design than actual meditation successes.

In September 2022, I tried it for the third time. This time, I came across the topic via psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia, who reaches an audience of millions on Twitch and YouTube with videos and livestreams about mental health. His analysis struck a chord with me. Dr. Kanojia swears by the positive effects of meditation on mental health, which is why I absolutely had to try it out again.

In his opinion, many people don’t find access to meditation because they simply have the wrong idea of what it means. When meditating, you shouldn’t think about the result, not that you need enlightenment to be successful.

Instead, it’s about the process itself, about simply going through with it, regardless of how restless you are and how untalented you feel. The journey is the goal and the mere fact that you dedicate yourself to meditation is already a success. This idea motivated me enormously and I quickly felt the first results.

Phase 1: Focus (day 1–14)

I started the self-experiment of meditation with the exercise Nadi Shuddhi, a breathing technique in which you alternately hold one nostril closed while breathing in and the other while breathing out. I started with five minutes and gradually increased to 20 minutes. On weekdays I meditated in the evening before going to bed, at weekends mostly in the morning so that I still had time for other activities in the evening. Dr. Kanojia’s tip helped me immediately: I no longer blamed myself when I couldn’t maintain my concentration.

No matter how often and for how long my attention wandered, as long as I made an effort to bring my focus back again and again and follow through with the meditation, it was a success. Even the first few times, I noticed that the ritual really did relax me. An effect that intensified with increasing duration.

Slowly but surely, my fears and worries faded. The chaos in my head cleared. Day by day, I trained myself to focus my mind and my state outside of meditation also changed. I learned how powerful this ability can be.

If I had fears about the future, I simply focused on the present. If I was procrastinating again, I focused my thoughts on the task to be done until I could no longer ignore it and therefore preferred to do it straight away. Even when I was out and about and had to go to the toilet, my newly acquired willpower helped me to simply think about something else, so that the call of nature became a little quieter.

Phase 2: Euphoria (day 15–28)

After the first two weeks, I was already absolutely thrilled. But in the following two weeks, my euphoria increased even more. I incorporated another breathing technique called Anuloma Viloma into my meditation. This is an advanced version of Nadi Shuddhi, in which you breathe alternately through each nostril without (!) holding them closed. Sounds impossible, and perhaps it is. But the trick is to direct your attention in such a way that it at least feels as if the air is only flowing through one nostril at a time.

The exercise is even more intense as you have to concentrate even harder to maintain the illusion. In the moments when it worked, I felt completely free and happy. It was like a rush whose positive energy spilled over into my everyday life.

Within four weeks, I felt like a new, better person. I was finally doing the things I set out to do instead of putting them off again and again. I was no longer getting caught up in harmful thoughts, but living in the here and now. Never before had I experienced such a change in myself in such a short space of time — at least not consciously.

Phase 3: Routine (day 29–50)

After the first four intensive weeks, it was already clear that meditation was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I was relaxed about the fact that the next three weeks or so were rather unspectacular. The positive effects remained and even if there was no more rush of happiness, I was always in a good mood. During this phase, I also tried out some new meditation exercises. Some of them left me cold, others were more interesting. However, there was no further highlight for a long time.

Phase 4: Self-awareness (day 51–60)

Between days 50 and 60 of my self-experiment, I tried out a completely different type of meditation. While I had previously limited myself to breathing and concentration exercises, I now devoted myself to a process that serves self-knowledge. A kind of intuitive self-inquiry in which you detach yourself from everything that defines you in everyday life. Job title, background, relationship status, wealth and even your own body are irrelevant. Who am I really? What are my essential qualities that are inextricably linked to me? Questions like these are explored.

Whereas I used to ponder endlessly and question everything I thought I knew, the answers to these profound questions now came incredibly easily to me. Suddenly everything seemed so clear. I gained valuable insights about myself that still give me stability in life and help me make decisions. Another side to meditation that I would never have believed in before trying it.

Phase 5: Boredom (day 61–77)

In phase 5, the self-experiment had already lasted a very long time. The initial euphoria had faded. However, discipline and habit ensured that I continued to meditate every day. There was no further effect at first. Instead, I started to feel bored for the first time.

Phase 6: Changed perception (day 78–80)

The boredom was only temporarily interrupted by a new exercise. Trataka, another form of meditation, involves staring at an object such as a candle flame without blinking. When I did this exercise in a sparsely lit room, another wow effect occurred: as I concentrated more and more on the flame, the room around it turned deep black. The light didn’t change, but my perception did.

I was completely amazed by this surreal phenomenon. I would never have believed my eyes to be capable of such selective perception. Did I really have to be 28 years old to experience this effect for the first time? Once again, the meditation had taken me by surprise.

Phase 7: Fatigue (day 81–100)

The last 20 days I had to really fight again. Now it wasn’t just boredom that curtailed my urge to meditate, but mental exhaustion. I found it increasingly difficult to sit upright and still while meditating. I could hardly get a grip on my attention and I had no choice but to use the discipline I had trained for 80 days to try and finish the meditation after all.

After several repetitions of various exercises, my body and mind simply no longer felt like meditating. So when I completed my 100th session, I decided to stop for the time being.

Maybe the positive effects on my mind would continue without a daily refresher, I thought. But unfortunately that didn’t happen.

Epilogue: Without meditation, the demons return

About 10 to 14 days after the last meditation of my self-experiment, my focus became weaker again. I once again allowed myself to be increasingly guided by repression mechanisms, indulged in unhealthy snacks and watched irrelevant YouTube videos instead of concentrating on the things that were really important to me. I was in a much worse mood and even developed sleep problems.

Of course, there could be other reasons for this. For example, I was on vacation after completing the experiment, which shook up my routine. I had also caught a cold.

However, when I finally meditated again, within just 20 minutes I felt the calm that accompanied me during the 100-day self-experiment return. I realized once again the incredibly calming and at the same time invigorating effect that meditation has on me. From then on, it was clear to me that I would have to continue meditating at least almost every day if I wanted to be the best version of myself.

Conclusion on the self-experiment: meditation is my mental workout

There are certainly many ways to practise meditation, and everyone will have a different opinion of what it means. For me, meditation is first and foremost a form of mental strength training. Whether I meditate or not determines how much I allow myself to be influenced by negative feelings and dopamine-rich distractions in everyday life. Regular meditation has strengthened my focus, helped me to consistently be the person I want to be and to accomplish what I set out to do.

However, as with physical fitness, I quickly fell back to my old level when I stopped exercising for a longer period of time. So the key is to keep at it!

My self-experiment with meditation has already given me a lot. The improved ability to concentrate is just one aspect. I haven’t even tried many exercises with a different focus or have only touched on them. I have the feeling that I’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg and I’m excited to see what the next 100 meditations have in store for me.