10 Weird Signs The End of Times is Close

Summary

The article humorously presents ten unconventional and satirical signs that could be interpreted as indicators of an impending apocalypse, contrasting them with the biblical Book of Revelation.

Abstract

In a lighthearted take on eschatology, the author of the article lists ten whimsical and unlikely signs that they suggest are more reliable harbingers of the end times than the traditional prophecies found in the Book of Revelation. These signs range from personal and domestic oddities, such as a partner's unexpected desire to talk or self-cleaning pets, to global events like the reversal of fuel prices or geopolitical reconciliations. The tone is irreverent, poking fun at the gravity of apocalyptic predictions by juxtaposing them with mundane and absurd scenarios. The author implies that these signs, while humorous, are as credible as the ancient prophecies, and concludes with a tongue-in-cheek plug for a Medium subscription, suggesting it as a better investment than anything else one might get for a similar daily cost.

Opinions

The author expresses skepticism about the value of traditional apocalyptic literature, particularly the Book of Revelation, suggesting it is not a source of comfort or interest.
There is a humorous implication that modern, everyday occurrences could be as significant as biblical prophecies in signaling the end of the world.
The article satirizes the seriousness of eschatological predictions by comparing them to absurd and highly unlikely personal events.
The mention of current events, such as the conflict in Ukraine and the Supreme Court's decision on Roe v. Wade, suggests a subtle critique of contemporary societal issues.
The author uses hyperbole to underscore the absurdity of the listed signs, emphasizing their triviality in comparison to real-world concerns.
The plug for a Medium subscription at the end is done with humor, positioning it as a rare valuable investment in today's world.

Hey! You won’t find any of these in your Book of Revelation

I have no idea what is written in The Book of Revelation but I can guess it’s not about rainbows and kittens.

Any book whose title derives from the word apokalypsis (Greek for unveiling or revelation) won’t be on my bedside table any time soon.

Revelation is widely held to be the brain-vomit of an unknown ancient Greek author and based on what was probably a bad souvlaki and too many ouzos.

Whatever Revelation predicts, the following ten portents of doom are far more trustworthy, and even one could prophesy the end of life as we know it:

1. Your male significant other wants to turn off the TV and chat.

2. Petrol is back to 90c a litre.

3. You eat pizza for dinner four times in a week and actually lose weight.

4. Dirty washing appears in the laundry hamper without you yelling.

5. Every traffic light on the way to work is green.

6. Your teenagers want to Netflix and chill with you on a Saturday night.

7. Your boss calls you into their office and asks if you’d like a raise.

8. The dog picks up his own poop.

9. Vladimir Putin apologises and immediately withdraws all Russian troops from Ukraine.

10. The Supreme Court votes to overturn Roe v Wade.