10 Things to Help You

Whilst Suffering Through a Deep Bout of Depression

While the first rule of Fight club, might be never to speak about Fight Club… That would be the antithesis of trying to climb out of the dark dungeons of your mind when you are in the midst of a severe depression.

From the time prepubescent hormones hit, I had written a letter to my family, informing them of my decision to check out early. I had also found the deepest, sharpest knife in the house. I put both those items in a box and readied them for when the day came when the dark clouds of my mind became too much to bear. And I was most certain those days would have already happened by now.

I have had a lot of time since those early days to come close to open that box and fulfill the plan that was most assuredly my exit que.

And yet, I am still here, still kicking and I know I am not alone. Luckily, ( and I do say it is pure luck) age has revealed things to me that help me surf the waves of these depression bouts, instead of drowning in the unforgivable ocean that is mental health. So here are my top ten tips on surviving, when that is the last thing you can imagine doing.

1. Bathing: #MYOBathBombs I realise this might sound a little cliche, but quite often a lot of people don’t “start” their day until they have showered. There is something about the cleansing nature of water that allows us to wash off the dirt on skin, just as much as the dirt of our emotions that weighs on us. I would also like to say that perhaps going for a swim, or engaging in total immersion of water* also helps. When I have suffered through these things, even taking a bath, or going for a swim, has at the very least, gotten me out my head, out of my environment, even in only for a brief period of time. *However, if you are a serious danger to yourself, I highly recommend you do NOT go unaccompanied to any pool of water.
2. Nature: #SnowWhiteDontOwnTheseWoods This one, almost pisses me off. “ Go for a walk in nature.” I have heard this multiple times, by multiple people. And when I am at my darkest moments, the last thing I want to hear someone say to me, is “ go hug a tree.” That is grounds for an immediate eye roll, followed by a monologue of profanity. YET, as much as this pains me to say it… it does work. As humans we are not met to live inside of concrete all day long, avoiding the sunlight, crisp air of the outdoors, and most assuredly some lovely greenery. When you take a minute to step outside, change your surroundings and look out over creations that were not man-made… Your soul and your mind do find reprieve, even if only for a short time.
3. Writing: #DearDiaryIsLife Now, here is something, that I can totally get behind. Writing (and I think mean handwriting, as opposed to typing) is such a cathartic and useful way to work through your emotions. Quite frequently, when there is something dark and twisted living and growing inside of us, one of the best ways to deal is to find ways to bring it out physically. And putting it on paper is one way to do that! So, grab a journal, or sheet of paper and a pen and start writing. It can be anything, from,” I don’t want to write this,” to your, deepest, darkest thoughts. But even the motion of writing will bring something to the surface. And when it is on top, it is a lot easier to handle, than when it is buried.
4. Talking/Sharing: #CanIJustSaySomething This might just be a different form of catharsis, other than writing. When we find people that we can talk to about what is going on with us, more often than not, people will be there. Sometimes it might be a perfect stranger… but other times a close friend or family member. I would suggest someone in your close circle. But depression is a very human and very common condition that many people have dealt with. And when you make yourself human and vulnerable to others, it tends to help people understand you and it also helps you to bring things to the surface, and from there you can deal with it easier. This does not mean broadcast everything all over social media. ( Although if you feel you have good people who will be there to comfort you on your channels, then possibly.) But keep in mind this is self care, which means, taking care of you should be the foundation of your discussions. Surrounding yourself with good people is part of that.
5. Help Someone Else: #KnockKnockWhosThere When going through a breakup, there is a common saying “ The easiest way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” I don’t particularly condone this, but I do see the sentiment. Sometimes the best way to get out of your own hardship is to help someone else through theirs. Maybe it is a good idea to add volunteer work to your routine. When we have a purpose, we tend to feel more value about ourselves, and that is a definite demon-tamer. There are lots of different ways to help people, including, joining a charity, or just reaching out to friends or family, seeing if they are doing ok, and how you can help?
6. Boxing/ Exercising ( but Boxing): #MillionDollarBabyMe I am in two minds about this. When people tell me to exercise, I confidently want to punch them in the espohagus. ( But my rage issues are not the point.) However, after my most recent difficult time, I found Boxing. I attend classes 1–2 times a week and it helps me to get out of my head, and workout some real frustration. I would say exercising is a good thing for those with foggy-grey-covered-glasses. But that isn’t always true. For example, solo workouts, like running or swimming, have a tendency to continually isolate you. I think it is important to be around people when you are suffering. So engaging in a contact sport might be a better option.
7. Comedy: #NewPhoneWhoDis “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.” As much as I hate to admit this (because I think tears should be currency for empaths), it is true. One of the best way to make friends, or relate to people is through laughter. And often when your tear soaked cheekbones and hallowed out eyes have been through so much, a nice cheeky grin is exactly what you need. There is the whole “ laughter produces endorphins” bit that is helpful. But also, laughing is just plain good for your soul.
8. Reading:#HarryPotterMeetsMrGrey Perhaps escapism is something you need right now, or perhaps just a different point of view. I know that when I am mentally and emotionally drained getting lost in another world can give me a nice brief repreive from the spiraling staircase that is my mental health. Finding authors and stories that you relate with or inspire you can be the exact medicine you need. So curling up with a nice book and a lovely cup of (hot or iced) tea can be the perfect arrangement to melt the meanness of your mind away.
9. Create something:#BYOCAKE Often when we are struggling, it might be because we are out of place, out of space and just dwindling in the abyss. We fill like we don’t fit in this world, am I right? But sometimes, a project can be the string on the end of our balloon that is just about to sail away. Creating something out of nothing, or building something is a tether that can bring us back to the world. So, this might be something that helps to remind you that not everything is so serious, but also that even if you can’t do a million other things, this is one thing you CAN do!
10. Be Part of a Team: #SheDoesntEvenGoHere Finally, joining something, whether it is a group, or class, you can usually find at least one other person, if not a few people who can help you to create, do, build, or be something. When a griup of people get together and have a common goal, it is something that takes you out of your head and helps to bring you back into the light.

If you are having feelings like this, and want a place or a person to to chat about with, our publication @broadsnongrata is always looking to hear from you! Feel free to reach out to me Ashley Evenson, or send an email to [email protected]

Also if you are really struggling, please reach out to organisations who are there to help like Good Samaritans or Suicide Hotlines. And in case you haven’t heard it: You are beautiful. You are important. You are loved.