10 Ultimate Confidence Boosting Lessons

Learn from the experts and change your life

A painfully true story, one I haven’t spoken of in a public forum, and only one that few people know. From grade four onwards, I was bullied for about two years when I was young. Our elementary school had merged with another school, and our safe and perfect environment literally disappeared overnight.

I dressed appropriately for my age… whereas the others dressed like rockstar groupies. I was super skinny and a stellar target for whatever reason, bullies are bullies.

Growing up in a household with an illness, we’re primed for some pretty major anxiety, which brings me to why I’m writing this!

I have people who think I’m the most confident person around. This simply isn’t true

When I started taking the bus in my early teens, I found that I would have the worst pains in my stomach as soon as we were nearing my stop. I couldn’t figure out why. All I know is I had an illogical fear of ringing the bell and getting up from my seat and off the bus. This was brutal, and it went on for years. I won’t lie. Sometimes it’ll still happen these days.

I still have an anxiety disorder, but it’s well managed, and I understand that it’s not the world closing in on me. It’s a disorder, nothing more. Nothing gloom and doom are going to happen.

But to meet me, you would never, ever know that I suffer from anxiety. I have people who ask me for emotional support at work. I have people who think I’m the most confident person around. This simply isn’t true. However, I appear confident, and over the years of practicing confidence, it feels natural.

Fake it till you make it, I always say!

Confidence is an intrinsic belief in that you can accomplish situations that come your way. It’s a mindset highlighting that you are capable.

Take Accountability

This could be the most important quality in confidence. Someone who can take accountability and someone who can admit they’re wrong comes across as someone who possesses strength. An undeniable and admirable strength. I love that quality in others, and I’ve tried to emulate that quality myself.

Accountability is also a top quality in leadership, especially in politics. Who would you put your trust in? Someone who lies and cowers, or someone who can stand up and say, ‘Hey, I was wrong.’.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short.

I’m the worst for doing this one. I’ll still skip over certain job listings because I think it’s beyond my capabilities. But in reality… what’s the harm in applying?

We shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously and believe that we’re better than we think we are. I know I’m my own worst critic.

An article in Forbes suggests selling yourself short is sabotaging yourself, and others might subconsciously see you as less valuable than you are.

Forbes also suggests believing in yourself and believing you are interesting and have interesting things to say.

Truth is, you do. We’re all unique with our own angles and perspective on things.

Practice and Practice

Psychology Today suggests practicing the trait.

Observe social settings and then have questions prepared that you would like to ask or contribute to the conversation. Psychology Today calls these vicarious experiences. You are learning by watching and observing.

Then speak up and share your knowledge. This, in turn, will help you see that “nothing truly bad will happen.”

Never Stop Learning

Knowledge is paramount to power. Whether it’s via traditional education or through personal reading, education is ongoing and never-ending. In fact, there are a plethora of courses online that can excel your skills.

MOOC-Massive Open Online Learning has taken education to a new level.

MOOC offers courses ranging from interior design to global health and engineering to social sciences. In fact, you can even learn coding through a MOOC course. These are free courses from accredited universities around the globe.

If you want a printed certification and marked quizzes, there’s a small fee, but the course itself is free. It’s worth checking out!

This education also looks great on the sidebar of your CV or resume. I’ve discussed in depth the benefits of continued education here.

Setting this goal for yourself and meeting your own expectations will naturally increase self-confidence. Knowledge promotes self-assurance and a sense of intrinsic power.

Educating oneself is the fastest and most successful method of gaining well-deserved self-confidence. Knowledge really is power.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

In Psychology Today’s article, their experts also suggest being aware of each and every emotion you have. Acknowledging your emotions will help you to challenge them head-on, and in time this will become easier.

Tell yourself these emotions are counter-productive.

Look to Nature

This may sound a little odd, but when I feel anxious, … I go for a walk, I look up at the trees or any nature that’s around me.

There’s something about the grandness of the trees or the humbleness of birds and squirrels that puts things in perspective.

I’m fortunate to live on the West Coast of Canada, and we have a good amount of nature. Maybe you live in the desert and find perspective in the sheer size of the desert, or the plains or mountains, or the Ocean.

I used to take my little dog Max for a walk (bless his little old puppy soul), and when I came back home, I felt 100% better.

Nature and my puppy, of course…naturally reminded me that my problems are small, and this, in turn, gave me more confidence to take on those issues.

Accept Compliments

Public speaker Pamela Barnum; said to accept a compliment and don’t downplay it with self-deprecating comments.

This is the fastest way to appear confident without appearing arrogant.

I myself have learned this through the years and have found accepting compliments has a positive outcome. Plus, when you downplay your accomplishments, it tells the other person that you are:

a) either looking for more reassurance

b) you don’t necessarily deserve the compliment in the first place.

To avoid all that… just say Thank You!

Dress the Part

Look good, feel good. I had an interview via Zoom for a job I really wanted.

Not only did I dress to impress from the waist up, but I wore the whole shebang plus heels in my living room. It felt weird wearing heels sitting at my desk at home, but it made a difference in how I felt.

This promoted intrinsic confidence, which ultimately got me the job offer.

Not only does dressing your best and looking your best feel good, but others will see confidence in you.

Help Others

Finally, Pamela Barnum also claims that helping others will foster intrinsic confidence. This will help you see that you have some pretty great qualities that others can benefit from.

The Mental Health Foundation, UK, tells us that helping others, especially on a regular basis, will benefit your own mental wellbeing. They also claim that this will, in turn, “reduce stress and improve mood, self-esteem, and happiness.”

Takeaway

Accountability is one of the foremost attractive qualities in confidence. By practicing this one quality, you will automatically exude confidence.

Never sell yourself short, accept compliments and observe confidence in others, then practice.

Always be open to learning new things, educating yourself, or setting realistic expectations will boost your self-esteem.

Dress the part, look like you believe in yourself, and be willing to help others. This will benefit you in the long run.

Finally, when you feel bad or suffer low self-esteem, go for a walk, get out into nature and let the outdoors put things into perspective.

I speak from personal experience on how to go from the lowest self-esteem to a confident person by practicing these steps.

There are days when I feel like an imposter, but I try to live by these rules for the most part.

It has worked for me, and I hope it works for you as well!

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