10 Tough Lessons I’ve Learned About Life Recently
It’s been a brutal 2 weeks.
The last 2 weeks have been deeply reflective for me.
After 35 days of straight travel, I came home to Texas and was thrust into the reality of my new routine.
But:
- my apartment was falling apart
- I lost a major writing client
- I wasn’t in shape as how I was the months prior
- And more
I had a lot of work to do to get my life “back on track”. The experience has made me reflect a lot.
Here are 10 life lessons I’ve learned in the last 2 weeks.
A good life requires 2 fundamental things.
A good life is fundamentally about the acquisition of skills and experiences.
Choose the right skills. Choose the right experiences.
Generally, easy skills and experiences are dead ends. Choose to do hard things and do them well. The best way to make a positive impact is to acquire skills and use them the right way.
The perceptions that most people have of love are wrong.
Love is not flowers, chocolates, sex, or fancy date nights. That’s romance. Love is being with someone when they’re struggling, supporting them, and being there for them.
Generally, you can’t learn true lessons about today’s events until time has passed.
Sometimes, something happens and I get smacked in the face with a big ole lesson. Usually, it’s because of a giant failure or a big success. However, most of the time, you can’t learn why things are happening today until you zoom out, remove emotion, and reflect.
You can’t get what you want if you don’t speak up.
I learned this through business, and it’s applied everywhere else in my life. If you want a job, apply. If you want clients, cold approach. If you have a problem with someone, tell ’em. Putting yourself and your ideas out there is always better than simply hoping and praying for better results.
Travel is romanticized, but it has a lot of downsides.
Living a life of constant travel and adventure has a lot of downsides. If you want to build a home, you have to be at home. I went on 27 trips in 2023 (mostly for BJJ). I will go on less this year. Travel is also not ideal for skill acquisition.
When you’re anxious, zoom out. When you’re excited, zoom in.
If you’re anxious about something, you need perspective. If you are excited about something, take that positive energy and use it to focus on the tiny details that will make you better.
When everything is FUBAR, focus on what you can control.
When I got home from a trip recently, the city of Austin had shut my power off because the autopay on my bill hadn’t gone through. Because of a mail issue, I hadn’t even received a notice that the bill hadn’t gone through. It was a nightmare. My apartment was in shambles (cold, frozen food rotting, and a stench that made me gag) and I felt helpless. In times when the world feels like it’s ending around you, focus on what you can control and rebuild from there.
True confidence is built through nothing but hard work and positive results.
There is no motivational speech, book, or song that will help you build lasting confidence. Sure, these resources might give you a taste here or there, but real confidence — the kind that lasts — is built from showing up and putting in work, day after day.
Time is more valuable than money.
This doesn’t mean money is not important. If anything, it makes money more important. More money means more control over your time. This idea helps me make decisions better. Is the thing I’m doing today going to help me get to where I want to be down the road or is it simply a means to an end?
Some goals are best pursued now.
I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for competitive Jiu-Jitsu — physically, socially, and financially — and these sacrifices have always been hard. However, the hard truth is that now (my 20s) is the best time in my life I’ll ever have to compete in my sport at a high level. I have no interest in being the king of the 40-year-old division.
I’d like to eventually become a coach, a dad, and an author. But right now, I’m an athlete first.
