10 Things You Don’t Need In Your Life

Take a personal inventory and bin the garbage.

We accumulate many things throughout our life— possessions, habits, thought patterns, and beliefs. So while you can certainly add new skills, healthier choices, and better habits, it’s also critical to get rid of things you don’t need.

Based on my 70 years of life experience, as a monk, meditation instructor, corporate sales guy, and executive coach, here are my top 10 things you don’t need.

The approval of others.

If you want to have a safe, predictable, be-like-everybody-else life, seek the approval the others — your parents, friends, work colleagues, and society at large.

However, if you want to blaze your own trail and live a life of exploration, adventure, and learning, then get off the beaten path and listen to the voices that are telling you to go for what you want.

You don’t need anyone’s approval. You’ve got everything you need right inside, so tap into it and hold your head high.

Thinking you’re smarter than you are.

Thinking you’re smarter than you are means you’ve got an inflated opinion of yourself. The problem is not that you think you know more than everybody else. It’s that you believe you’re right, and everyone else is either stupid or wrong. This is arrogance, and it’s deadly.

If you fall into this trap, you will criticize anyone who disagrees with you and label them a loser, an idiot, or a menace to society. Arrogance creates separation and animosity.

Ditch arrogance for curiosity. Be brilliant, have your beliefs and opinions, and realize not everyone sees the world the way you do.

Being passive.

Not having an opinion, not speaking up, giving hints but not asking for what you want, or letting people take advantage of your good nature will not help you find peace, happiness, or success.

These shadow qualities exist because a part of you has become disenfranchised. Find that part. Heal it, love it, and bring it home.

The real you is powerful and confident.

Being passive is a choice. Do what it takes to build your inner warrior and let it step forward, express an opinion, speak up for what you want, draw boundaries and stand tall.

Avoiding responsibility.

Blaming others, and cursing your circumstances, are synonymous with avoiding responsibility. When you don’t take ownership of what you create, you’re making a dirty deal with the devil. The devil says, “I can get you off the hook and make you feel innocent and blameless. All you have to do is give me your power.”

But when you relinquish your power, you become weak, resentful, and eventually bitter.

You become power-full by fully accepting responsibility for what you do and say. After all, you have control over your choices and behavior. It’s all yours. It doesn’t belong to anyone else.

The next time you’re involved in a breakdown, stop and ask yourself, “What’s my contribution to this situation?” Then, use the answer as a way to begin a resolution conversation.

Playing it safe.

Staying in your comfort zone with no significant challenge is playing it safe. No challenge means no growth or learning. And when you stop learning, you start getting stale, brittle, and fragile. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s true. Learning and challenging yourself will keep you agile, flexible, and nimble. You’ll feel more vibrant, and you can accomplish much more than you think.

I took a calculated risk once leaving the security of a cushy corporate job, joining a fledgling start-up. Three years later, it crashed and almost burned. Yet, I walked away rich with knowledge, skills, and experience that transformed my life.

We need the right amount of challenge to grow, learn and find out who we are. You can’t do this by playing it safe, but you can by taking carefully thought-out risks.

Being reckless.

The other side of playing it safe is being reckless — doing things that can harm you or others. Being reckless typically involves extreme behavior, addiction, and selfishness. Unresolved psychological issues are usually behind reckless behavior. I’ve been reckless, and when it caught up with me, I had to dig deep and face the music. It’s wasn’t pretty, but I turned my life around and it blossomed like never before.

Extremist tendencies are a blessing and a curse. Lots of talent, creativity, and smarts are incredible gifts — but they have to be managed and channeled towards goodness and service to others. Left unchecked, they can develop into recklessness.

Being small-minded.

Being small-minded includes judging others, making assumptions, being overly critical, and being slow to forgive.

We fall into small-mindedness when we lack curiosity, live in fear, and feel at risk. We’ve forgotten and have become disconnected from an essential part of ourselves — our heart.

Being small-minded exists in the absence of fulfillment. The way out of being small-minded is to find out what is lacking in your life. Is it a connection with yourself or with others? Is it not knowing what you want? Is it the lack of meaningful work? Is it being stuck in limiting beliefs?

When you are connected to your heart and experiencing inner peace, it’s impossible to be small-minded.

Living beyond your means.

Living beyond your means is recklessness disguised as living in the moment. I’m talking about racking up debt, maxing out your credit cards, and doing things like renting an apartment or leasing a car you really can’t afford. I know people that made plenty of money during their career and now, at retirement age, can’t afford to stop working.

I also know people who had moderately-paying jobs and retired with a million bucks in the bank. They lived within their means and invested small amounts of money regularly in their 401K.

Unless you are loaded, you do not want to be paying a giant mortgage or a big rent payment when you’re 65 years old. You want to have the lowest overload possible so you can have the freedom to do whatever you choose. If you’re still carrying significant financial obligations, you’ll feel the pinch to the day you die.

Live within your means now, so you’re not caught with your pants down later on.

Not paying enough attention to your health.

Poor health equals a poor quality of life. And, I mean mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. All are important, and all require effort. It’s easy to focus just on one or two and ignore the others, but they’re really like four legs on a stool. If one leg is weak, it affects the entire system, creating imbalance.

Take an inventory from time to time and ask yourself:

Mental- What thought patterns do I notice? What beliefs are helping or hindering me?

Emotional- How am I feeling? What emotions keep showing up? Am I content most of the time, or not?

Spiritual-What am I doing to nurture myself regularly? Do I feel a connection to my inner being? Do I know what I stand for?

Physical-What’s happening in my body? What do I notice? Am I getting enough daily exercise? Am I eating as healthily as I can? What can I do more of? Less of?

When you get older, you want to be sharp, active, happy, and fit. So take care of your health now.

Being attached to limiting beliefs.

We all have beliefs about ourselves. Some are healthy, and some are not. Unhealthy beliefs are those that keep you playing small. If you can identify and let them go, new doors can open.

One of the most important principles I’ve learned is: The way we think (our being) drives our behavior (what we do), which generates our results (what we have). Be-Do-Have.

The way to be more effective, happy, and fulfilled is not achieved by focusing on your results or even on your behavior— it’s by looking at your inner world, your being, and making the necessary adjustments to your mindsets, attitudes, and beliefs.

Keep your inside world clean, be as conscious as you can in your behavior, and the results will come.

Summary.

Ten things you don’t need.

• The approval of others.
• Thinking you’re smarter than you are.
• Being passive.
• Avoiding responsibility.
• Playing it safe.
• Being reckless.
• Being small-minded.
• Living beyond your means.
• Ignoring your health.
• Being attached to limiting beliefs.

You’ll not only be just fine without them, but you’ll thrive.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like, Life Is All About Choices

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