BOOBS
10 Things You Don’t Know About Boobs
Everybody has ’em. Everybody loves ‘em.
Milkmen. Honkers. Kahunas. Airbags. Beacons.
Boobs
With the wild success of my recent Boobs Wordle post on Doctor Funny, I began to analyze the statistics. The limitations of Medium’s drilling down on details are limited, so I was forced to extrapolate my thoughts.
I used extensive scientific methods like combing through free boob images in Unsplash, Shutterstock, Pexels, and PicJumbo (I thought that one would be a gold mine, and I was right).
No one is tagging me on the 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Me bullshit and I wanted to play. Alas, I could feel sad like no one wants to get to know me, or I could fight my anger with another scintillating view of hooters.
I chose the latter.
Enjoy my own version of 10 Things where I only tag Smillew Rahcuef who is the only true friend wanting to know about me.
I know he is using me for my boobs, but that is not the point.
The rest of you can bare your souls, we’re gonna bare those breasts.
Me first.
Boobs are great in black and white
As evidenced below. Examine closely the shading as the cleavage is hinted at and yet not explicitly shown.
Artsy.
Beautiful.
If you’re charming, no one will notice your button is undone
I know this model is charming because the name of the file says so. It took me a long time to figure out why this photo showed up when I was looking for shots of boobs, though.
See if you can tell. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not in the eyes.
This isn’t really something you didn’t know about boobs, though.
Fun Fact: Did you know that women with eyes also have boobs?
Perfect exists
“Naked Woman with Perfect Breasts.” That’s how Viktor Hanacek, the photographer of the shot below, described this photo.
Look long and hard and see if you agree with Viktor.
Look again.
He might be right.
Her nails are a bit pointy for my liking, but if you can see past that, those boobs are quite spectacular.
Doll boobs are almost as nice as real boobs
Look. Doll boobs.
Look again. They look real, don’t they?
Just crazy!
Oh, sorry. Yup, real boobs. My bad. Got you all excited about doll boobs. I bet there are some really great doll boobs out there too.
Just not here.
Boob boners — it’s come to this
If you write about boobs, and Smillew Rahcuef links to your article about boobs on his article about boobs, you get… boob boners. The bigger boner for the bigger boobs.
No surprises there.
Yoga-top boobs are the best
As evidenced above, Smillew proved that a yoga boob shot really captures the imagination. And, I found them in all shapes and sizes!
Working from left to right. There is the gentle support front zip. Model number two sports the medium bolster uplift. Far-right, the lift and separate, ba-bam, thank you ma’am, support.
Can you tell the difference? Look closely.
Boobs are technologically interesting
Not everybody interested in boobs is only interested in boobs. At least 35% of them are interested in technology.
Technology helped me build this graph so the people who like me for my technology and not my boobs articles will not lose interest.
Fruit of the world
Melons are not the only fruit that pears well with boobs.
Pun intentional.
Viktor gets a lot of naked women in his studio
Can we just all agree to agree that Viktor is talented in more than just photography? He has four photos on my 10-Things You Don’t Know About Boobs list.
Test Time: How many sets of boobs has Viktor presented? If you’re following along, and I know you are, that is a total of eight boobs. Go back and look. Find all eight.
I’ll wait.
Tricked you! I told you to go back and look, but you had to look forward too.
The 29% of people interested in humor will appreciate that one.
Now you can go back and look to find eight. No more tricks. Pinky swear.
Boobs are wild
I guess in the following photo I should use the singular… Boob are wild. Then again, the other one is implied. I’m gonna stick with Boobs are Wild. Generally, when you find one boob in the wild, the other is close at hand.
Get it out of your hand. It was an expression, not an order.
That’s ten things you didn’t know about boobs.
Boob Bonus: In the opening image, I proved that the word BOOB is essentially three boobs in one.
B looks like boobs if you think like this:
What more can I say? Boobs are magical.
Total boobs in this article: 35 but 36 if you include the implied boob. 40 if you include the links below. 41 if you count the boob getting all the way to the end of this article. 🧁🧁
Now go ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ read, the other boob-related articles on Doctor Funny.
