9 Things You Can Do To Not Care About Being Hated: “It’s Brave To Be Hated?!”

I Was Called “Brave” Because I Said, “I Don’t Care That I Am Hated.”

“Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others” ― Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to Be Disliked

I have written many articles of late delving into social issues, specifically, race issues.

Don’t worry…

This article will NOT be diving deep into that, as you can read my thoughts on this issue in the links below; if you feel so inclined to.

But it is salient to the topic as the idea for this article came from a response from someone commenting on one of my articles.

I write that I personally don't think racism (As I just think it is collectivism coupled with a lot of primitive behaviors, sprinkled with a dash of other personality disorders on top of it)is NOT a thing — and if it is, it is not something I care about as it does not affect my life.

If anything, I get a hell of a lot more hatred from older black men than I do from older white men.

Go figure that! 🙄

Conversely, I seem to get more love from older black women and A LOT OF HATE from older white women (not really a bummer for me)!

I mean, damn.

If looks could kill, I‘d be dead a million times over.

😂 🤣 😅 🤔 🤔 🤔 😢 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

You gotta laugh at the absurdity of life, not sink into the madness of it all.

I know some people will hate me because of my skin tone, but I care about their hatred as much as YOU, the reader, cares about Kim Jong-Un hating you over whatever nonsense that goes on in his mind “Looney Toon” mind.

Hatred…is just a part of life.

Why this is salient and why it has to deal with the title is because I was asking the readers, “why is it such a big deal that people hate you because of your skin tone?”

This is not 1910!

Now, I know many will shout from the rooftops, “ARE YOU BWIND? Because of racism and discrimination.”

But I have to ask?

Is there any place on this planet where there is NO level of discrimination?

Everyone discriminates.

I have a set of rules that I live by.

Those rules and boundaries will not be crossed or broken for common people. But if I like a person, I have no problem bending the rules.

The rules won't apply to people I like, and I don’t feel bad about that.

I am discriminatory with my rules and boundaries with some people and others.

Some people get 1st class treatment with me, and others get the “redlining” treatment in my life.

“Yeah, you can park your sorry existence about 5 states away from me. Thanks.”

We discriminate with friends. Some of us have best friends, good friends, and occasional friends — all of whom we give certain details about our lives.

We discriminate within our family. You may love one parent more than the other. A parent — and I know this from personal experience — WILL favor one child over the other.

Even if you live in a homogenous nation like China, people are still discriminated against despite the vast populace of the country being of the same ethnicity.

Look at how they are treating them right now because of another CHINESE VIRUS outbreak in Shanghai!

Heck, even animals discriminate. Lions will go out there a way to kill Hyena cubs or rival lion cubs so that they don't have competition later on.

And these sadistic bastards (lions) are so deranged that they will actively pursue Hyenas and snap their spines, leaving them to suffer.

Let me repeat this….

THEY WON’T KILL THE HYENAS; they will just snap their spines and leave them to suffer.

Discrimination is just part of life.

This doesn't make it okay.

But just as we love the summertime, we must accept and endure the seasons of winters.

That’s just life.

The commenter said, “not everyone is as brave as you.”

This got me to think, “it’s brave NOT to care that people hate me?”

It took me aback for a second, as I genuinely think spending my time and energy trying to figure out why Bob Smith, 50+ Old Man “Still Gangbanging” Tyrone, Lu Cheng, Enrique Rameriz, or Muhammad (All generic ethnic names to illustrate my point better) hate me is just a waste of my time.

Every second I think about why a stranger whom I will NEVER meet again gave me the stink face is a second I LOSE where I could have thought about how I could grow my business, how I can achieve my goals, how I can save my dream, how I can find my life partner(s).

Now…don’t misunderstand me and think I am wholly removed from being annoyed by people's petty antics.

I get it and how it can be annoying.

I know all too well how annoying it can be to have a cashier (typically another POC) smile and be courteous to the white person in front of me (THIS IS NOT WHITE PRIVILEGE, 👉 THIS IS WORLD DELUSION/CONDITIONING), but as soon as they look at me drop their smile and will just toss my stuff in the bag.

Stupid POC: “I’ll serve this white man, but not you.”

Me: “Idiot, you are still serving someone; I don't serve people.”

I swear other POC are willful servants; there is no real reason to be mad with these willing slaves and NPCs.

I get how annoying it can be to have people look at you and make up all these assumptions about you based on your skin tone.

Some brainwashed NPC: “So, uh…can you rap? I listen to Pac ALL DAY; Nah mean, son?”

Me: “Actually, I am into Rnb and Jazz.”

Some brainwashed NPC:

I get how annoying it can be to have an old, fat, liver-spotted, varicose veined Karen try and make you feel inferior because of some “privilege” she's been “duped” into believing she has.

All that privilege, yet still so very very VERY miserable!

With great Karen power comes great Karen misery.

However…

For me, it’s like, if you want to live a good life, you need to take control of it yourself, just like you would a ship on the open sea. If you let someone else steer your ship, you may end up like the Titanic.

I am, at the moment, under the impression that this is the only life I have.

For this reason, I sure as HELL am not placing my life in anyone else hands BUT MY OWN.

I think that is why I am so against the victimhood mentality because I view it as giving away my power, and I view it as me waiting around for someone to save me from the genuine truth of life, which is hatred is just a part of it.

We all have hard times, but what separates successful people from the unsuccessful are those who brave the storms of life.

Think about this…

What if no one ever comes to save you.

That would be a LIFE LOSS FOREVER.

You would die on your deathbed REGRETTING playing the po ole’ little victim.

There is NO HONOR to be had in playing the victim.

Side tangent or a quick story to better bolster my argument.

I am an avid traveler, and I have lived abroad for nearly nine years. I remember being in Taiwan and connecting with a few people there.

This dude I was hanging out with had a girl he was with, and she and I talked one day. She told me how bad he treats her, how bad her family treats her and how she wishes someone could save her.

And she said to me, “I know I am no Cinderella, but I wish a Prince Charming would come to save me,” and she looked at me really sad and longingly.

Now, I am an INTJ-A (not that I like placing names on myself, but MAN, I took that 16 personality test and this personality type SUMS ME to a tee).

In regards to romance, I am CLUELESS when a girl is into me — unless she just straight up tells me.

Otherwise, them telling me things like this, or bumping into me, or staring at me makes me think, “Why not just leave? You’re a grown woman. I left my country all by myself; you can do the same,” to “why does she keep bumping into me when we have ALL THIS SPACE 😡,” to “do I have something on my face? Why is she staring so hard at me?”

In hindsight, and after people tell me, it makes more sense. But in the immediate moment, I think of 99 different reasons which don't include romance.

I am rational, which leads to why, maybe, being hated by people who will NOT be in my life to not be too cumbersome of an issue for me.

I don't see any reason to lose my head over Bob, Chan, or Enrique not liking me for whatever reason society has told them not to like me.

I still keep in touch with my friends, and after four years, she is still in that toxic relationship with him.

Instead of just leaving, she is waiting for someone to save her from prison, which the prison she is in has wide-open doors.

Back to my point.

Aside from being skeptical about an afterlife and thinking this is my only time to be conscious (somewhat conscious, I know that I don't know a damn thing or nearly as much as I think I do), I am also an introvert.

I am a MASSIVE introvert. I find being around too many people the most exhausting thing ever.

I find it easier to scale a small mountain and still have enough energy to do 100 push-ups than to be around NEEDY extroverts.

Extrovert: “What ya doing?”

Me: “Minding my business.”

Extrovert:: “Where ya going?”

Me: “Nowhere you need to worry about.”

Extrovert:: “How old are ya?”

Me: “Old enough that I don't have to answer that question.”

Extrovert:: “You want to share YOUR food with me.”

Me: “DO YOU want some of my food? Just ask…Dolt!”

Extrovert: “Can I smell your socks?”

Me: “Wha-What?”

(I have had people ask me this)

Extroverts are WEIRD as hell.

For the most part, I am in my head, forging my inner self as much as I can and trying to bring it out into this world we all occupy.

And it is for this reason I can, for the most part, overlook people’s nasty antics or not even hear their off-handed remarks.

I am too focused on trying to love myself, respect myself, honor myself and SAVE MY DREAMS that the hatred from others is meaningless.

I much prefer the world to hate me than for ME to hate myself.

That hatred (self-hatred) is the WORST type of hatred as it will drive you to hurt yourself and, in some cases, do much worst than that.

And by gosh, I know how self-hatred coupled with the weight of the world can drive you to want to end it all.

But as a friend of mine once wrote, in regards to ending it all is,

“Suicide is ultimately an act of hopelessness. We tend to underestimate the importance of hope. Science has shown that a rat placed in the middle of a body of water will swim nearly indefinitely if it can see a way out, but will give up after just a few minutes if it doesn’t see an edge, and has no hope of escape. This is the same for people. People who die by suicide don’t want to die; they just don’t want to live anymore, trapped in the deepest grip of depression, and with seemingly no hope of getting out. Feeling nothing is better than feeling that. But the immediacy of the feeling is a lie (my friend’s mom, after he died, explained it great, “if you have lung cancer, your lungs are trying to kill you; if you have liver cirrhosis, your liver is trying to kill you; if you have bipolar, your brain is trying to kill you). Especially in recent years, we have made so much progress in combating this awful illness. Ketamine, psilocybin, DMT, and MDMA are now being used as anti-depressants with significant efficacy in cases that would’ve been hopeless just a decade ago, and they are a small part of research progress improving every day. So, fight, please, and keep fighting. There is light at the end of the tunnel — even if you can’t see it yet.” — rob yates, Suicide, Dispelling some Myths; a Message to those who Struggle

So, people hating me is a blessing because they are doing for me what I don’t and SHOULDN’T do to myself.

With all of this said, I started to delve deeper into the comment, and I started researching the courage it takes to be hated — and I came across a book called “The Courage To Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi.

Pick this book up.

My gosh!

Truth bomb after truth bomb after truth bomb.

Gawd! I love Japanese philosophy!

In this article (and wow, if you are still reading this), I want to better express the idea of “the courage to be hated” and why I think so many people are scared to live their most authentic lives.

If you can stick around, I think you will go away with a new idea about hatred and how you can use the power of the world hatred to fuel inner love for yourself.

Turn negativity into positivity and learn to FIGHT, COURAGEOUSLY FIGHT for the life you want.

“The life of man upon earth is a warfare, and his days are like the days of a hireling. As a servant longeth for the shade, as the hireling looketh.” — Job 7: 1–2

Powerful Quotes From “The Courage To Be Disliked,” By Ichiro Kishimi

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”― Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to Be Disliked

“It’s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.” ― Ichiro Kishimi

“Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.”― Ichiro Kishimi

“Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.”― Ichiro Kishimi

“A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparison with one’s ideal self.”― Ichiro Kishimi

“We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.” ― Ichiro Kishimi

“The reason that so many people don’t really feel happy while they’re building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition.”― Ichiro Kishimi

“All you can do in regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in.” ― Ichiro Kishimi

“You are the only one who can change yourself.”― Ichiro Kishimi

1 — Embrace The Hatred Of the World, While Embracing The Universe Of Love Within Yourself

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”― Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to Be Disliked

For every time someone gets in my way, I find a new path or a way around them or through them to reach my goals.

For every time someone tries and stops me from making money one way, I research and find another way to earn money.

For every time someone tells me “no,” I find dozens of ways to tell myself “yes.”

This courage to be disliked can also be summed up as a new phrase I have come to love…INAT!

What is INAT?

Inat, as Mila’s article, “‘Inat’ — The Most Powerful Weapon” explains it, is,

“It’s like a lion’s roar against the dying of the light. It’s fighting against all odds. It’s the opposite of what we all would wish life to be. It’s a defiance of “reality,” which one knows is finite and still believes that it must and will be different. It is when Novak Djokovic wins tennis matches when everyone and everything is working against him: the audience, the judges, and coronavirus pandemic. It is when we are faced with injustice. And the bigger the injustice, the harder we push — and then the sweeter the moral victory is. No matter the cost. No one is coming to rescue you from this shit storm of an experience that we call life.” — Mila, “Inat — The Most Powerful Weapon.”

I talked to a friend of mine about life and how much of a cruel bitch she is.

She thrusts all of us into this experience without our consent, and then we are expected to figure out this insanity all by ourselves.

Life, the universe, this experience manifests itself through other people doing their very best to try and tear us down, to emotionally and mentally break us.

WHEN I MEET NEGATIVE PEOPLE, what I have learned to do is NOT to make things personal.

I don't see it as “people” who hate me or people who are trying to break me…I see it as the universe, life, or whatever we want to call this experience, trying to break what's inside me.

Since I work to have full control over my inner universe, what does the meaning of small worlds mean to me?

When these small worlds try and make the universe inside me bend to its will, I defiantly and graciously accept the challenge and embrace my #Inat and their hatred.

To hate me for being me only proves I am doing something right.

2 — Haters Hate Those Who Love Themselves

“It’s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.” ― Ichiro Kishimi

As Riley from “The Boondocks” once said, “If niggas ain't hating you doing something wrong.”

The fact that you are hated is not a sign that you are doing something wrong; it is a sign that you are doing many things in your life RIGHT.

Losers only hate winners.

So keep on winning in life by simply being YOU!

3 — Why Allow Others Feelings To Dictate Your Life?

“Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.”― Ichiro Kishimi

There is, a saying that I am quite fond of, and it goes like this:

“All the water in the world cannot sink a ship unless a little bit of it gets inside.”

In other words, nothing in the world can bring you down unless you allow a bit of their nonsense to enter your mind.

Learn how to “Grey Rock” negative people in your life. Learn how to become numb to others' opinions. And learn how to focus on what makes you happy in life.

You have to remember that there is no guarantee that you will have another life after this.

We can hope and pray that there is something better, but we have no proof.

So I live my life as if this is all the time I have and the only time I have to experience.

Why should I muddy it and tarnish it because of what — other people don't want me living THIS EXPERIENCE OF MINES the way I want to?

That is insanity.

#StopgivingyourpowertopowerlessLOSERS

4 — No One Is Coming To Save You, You Must Save Yourself: Be Courageous And Save Yourself

“Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.”― Ichiro Kishimi

This right here speaks volumes.

How many people are afraid to be happy because they think it will evoke jealousy in others.

“Don't shine too bright.”

“Don't stand out too much. You don't want to get noticed.”

“The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

I understand why some people are afraid to be happy and afraid to be disliked, why they fear living their ONE LIFE on their terms.

Because the moment you decide to live your life on your term, you seem to awaken in the “braindead sleeping masses” a realization that they are not living their lives but wasting them away.

And for many who have reached a certain age and have not accomplished as much as they would have liked to, seeing someone else live their best life is a slap in the face.

They are forced to NOW think, “what have I done with my life.”

WASTED IT AWAY!

5 — Hatred Should Not Deter You; It Should Motivate You

“A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparison with one’s ideal self.”― Ichiro Kishimi

I wake up every day at 1:15 AM and get to my grind. I go to sleep at 8:30 PM. I work my ass off because of how many people in my past have worked to drag me down and hold me down.

Their desire to stop me from reaching my dreams is all the FUEL I need to work that much harder to make my dreams a reality.

6 — It’s Not What Others Think Of You, But What You Know Of Yourself That Matters

“We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.” ― Ichiro Kishimi

It is not what others think of you that matters, but what you KNOW of yourself that matters.

7 — You Are Only In Competition With Yourself; Everyone Else Are Just Bystanders

“The reason that so many people don’t really feel happy while they’re building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition.”― Ichiro Kishimi

Haters will often try and find fault in you because they are scared you will notice their MANY MANY FAULTS.

Remember, you are not in competition with these losers. You are only in competition with who you are today and who you were yesterday.

Winners constantly improve who they are; losers continuously work on trying to stop others from improving.

At the end of their lives and our lives, who do you think will look back with a smile on their face?

The person who wasted it sabotaging others' dreams or the person who realized their dreams?

8 — The Path Of Happiness and Success Is Often A Lonely Road

“All you can do in regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in.”― Ichiro Kishimi

People may laugh at you, but remember, “stick and stones.”

People may ridicule you…“you’re too old. Why don't you be realistic.”

“Better men than you have tried and failed.”

Ohhh! How I hear so many people tell me this.

Trying to make me doubt myself and trying to put me down. Try, try, try and you will all FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.

They say these things because if they can make me doubt myself, doubt the path I am walking on, then maybe, I will get off of this path and follow them on their path of mediocrity leading NOWHERE.

But remember what Voltaire once said, “Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.”

People may hate you, but remember, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.”

You must be courageous in living your ONE LIFE on YOUR TERMS.

9 = Our Happy Life Is Ultimately In Our Hands

“You are the only one who can change yourself.”― Ichiro Kishimi

My biggest fear and what scared the hell out of me at the beginning of this new year to the point I almost….TRIGGER WARNING….TRIGGER WARNING...TRIGGER WARNING…ended my life was that I would die never accomplishing what it was that I have always wanted to.

To die, not living my life truest to me.

And for me, I think this is what gives me that courage to not give a fuck how others see me anymore.

I will NOT sacrifice my dreams to make STRANGERS happy.

I did not ask to be dragged into this existence. I was perfectly fine, NOT living for billions of years.

But while I am here, I will be DAMNED if I let this gift, this opportunity, this experience be nothing more than heartache and pain.

Pain is a part of life. It will never go away, but how we deal with that pain, perceive it, and manage it will determine how we live this life.

“We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.” — Ichiro Kishimi

We may not be able to influence how people view us or feel about us, but we have all the power within ourselves to dictate how we see and feel about ourselves.

And I guess — at the end of it all, I am very brave and courageous.

I’m not jerking myself off here, but I am BRAVE because I do NOT care how others see me.

This is my life…MY LIFE…and I will, until my very last breath, live it to the best that I can, on my terms.

So hate on my many, many haters! Hate away!

“Massive respect for anyone who has the courage to choose their own path and not just accept the hand they were dealt. However, privileged or unprivileged their background.”― Efrat Cybulkiewicz

If you made it this far, AWESOME; listen to this song because it takes COURAGE to continue TO GROW in life.

#Notavictim #Inat #liveyourlife #becourageouslyyou