Summary

Paul Mansfield expresses his frustration with everyday annoyances, from the mundane task of cleaning cat litter to the profound topic of death.

Abstract

In a candid and humorous rant, Paul Mansfield shares his disdain for ten specific nuisances in his life. From the literal, such as dealing with cat excrement and empty coffee dispensers, to the abstract, like telemarketers and new country music, Mansfield's list is a mix of trivial and significant grievances. He also reflects on the deeper sorrow of losing loved ones, emphasizing the emotional toll of death. The article serves as a cathartic exercise, advocating for the expression of both loves and dislikes to achieve emotional release.

Opinions

Mansfield has a clear aversion to the daily chore of cleaning his cats' litter boxes, despite his affection for them.
He holds a strong distaste for lite beer, equating it to horse urine, and questions the purpose of its existence.
Telemarketers are a source of intense irritation for him, especially when they call at inconvenient times or offer irrelevant services.
The frustration of finding empty coffee dispensers when in dire need of caffeine is another pet peeve he highlights.
Late-night dog bathroom breaks are seen as an inconvenience, particularly when it involves carrying his dog down the stairs.
Dirty glasses, both eyewear and drinking vessels, are a source of annoyance due to the inconvenience and uncleanliness they represent.
Mansfield despises doing laundry in his basement due to the physical discomfort it causes his tall frame.
He has a strong preference for traditional country music over contemporary styles, which he refers to as "new country."
Grumpy old men, and by extension grumpy old women, are criticized for their constant complaining and lack of appreciation for life.
Ultimately, Mansfield expresses a deep-seated hatred for death, acknowledging it as the most significant and unavoidable annoyance that takes away more than it gives.

RANT

10 Things I Absolutely Can Live Without

A Sunday rant

If the devil comes collectin’, you’d better have a 6-gun in your hand, © Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

Since Paul Combs took my idea, and ran with it, I’m taking his title and subtitle, because they work so well (even if this is published Monday, it’s still a Sunday morning rant).

What can I live without? My trouble is that there’s so much that I’d rather live without. Narrowing down the field is a daunting task. However, between the pandemic and personal responsibilities, I have hermitized my life pretty well these days. This way, I will concentrate on the things that are a daily annoyance, and not some overarching ill within society.

1) Cat Shit

Julio, Scooter, and The Little Guy, © Paul Mansfield

Three cats live with me in my one and a half story cottage. Julio, Scooter, and The Little Guy. While I love them dearly, I hate cleaning out their cat boxes. How three little kitties can poop out a tonne of cat shit every week is beyond me, but they manage. And I manage to lug a new dump truck load of cat litter down to the basement for them, and haul two dump trucks full back upstairs, where the city can then take care of it.

I hate cat shit.

2) Lite beer

A beer in a pub, © Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

Lite beer? Why even bother. I’ll just take my glass over to the stables and let the horse piss directly in it. Need I say more?

I hate lite beer.

3) Telemarketers

Roast in hell, you ignorant son’s’o’bitches! They always call at 7am or lunch or 7pm, and there’s never anybody on the other end. Unless they’re trying to sell you duck cleaning services. I don’t even own a damn duck, so why would I clean it.

I hate telemarketers.

4) Empty coffee dispensers in variety stores

My lifeblood, © Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

Have you ever been so desperate for a jolt of caffeine, you go into a variety store to grab a quick cup of horrendous coffee, and the damn coffee pot is empty. If I lower my standards to drink the sludge that you call coffee, have some ready for me. I don’t want to stand around amongst the scratch card junkies and the real junkies waiting. I need my coffee, now!

I hate empty coffee pots

5) Taking the dog out to piss in the middle of the night

Kasey looking at you, © Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

Despite taking them out a dozen times before bed, they still somehow have enough juice left to need to go in the middle of the night. It’s especially frustrating with Kasey, since her little legs can’t go up or down my stairs. I have to carry her down to the main floor, and then we can go outside. You can’t blame her, because I’ve had to go in the middle of the night, and I’d have peed the bed if I couldn’t. Even so, it’s a pain when you’re groggy.

I hate late night bathroom breaks

6) Dirty glasses

Clean glasses on a dirty bar, © Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

When I wrote this, I was thinking about eyeglasses, but it works for both for both eyeglasses and drinking glasses. Seeing through smudges is a pain, but not as disgusting as lipstick marks on your fresh beer stein.

I hate dirty glasses.

7) Laundry

Laundry is a pain, the best of times, but in my house, it’s even more of a pain. My laundry machines are in the basement, and the basement is about five feet 6 inches in height and I am over six feet in height. The pain is literal, as I bump my head into rafter after rafter, and I end up resembling Quasimodo after doing several loads of laundry. The pain is real, folks.

I hate laundry.

8) New country

The Parkdale Rebels at the Cadillac Lounge — NOT new country© Paul Mansfield on FLICKR

If Hank didn’t sing it, I don’t like it.

That’s not completely true, but I prefer Americana/roots rock/outlaw country to anything that Record Row pushes out. If it’s got a disco beat, or a metal interlude, or bad rapping, I’ll pass. If you like it, enjoy it. Love it. Help it grow. But leave me out of it.

Here’s something good to wash away the taste of even writing “new country.”

I hate new country.

9) Grumpy old men

It’s OK to be grumpy, and it’s OK to be old, and it’s even OK to be a man. Just don’t be all three at once. (Grumpy old women are annoying, too, but they haven’t reached the “Get offin’ my lawn” levels of men yet. Someday, there will be parity, just not yet.)

It’s the constant complaining. Dude, you’re still alive. Enjoy, because it won’t last. The grim reaper comes for all of us, and you won’t be enjoying anything in this form after that.

I hate grumpy old men.

10) Death

All of the above are simple annoyances. What I truly hate is death and losing loved ones. Life gives us much, but it takes away even more. There’s a whole series of articles here, but they can be summed up simply. I hate death, and what it does to everybody and everything around it.

I hate death.

And on that note, I don’t have witty or cool things to say, other than make your own lists. Verbalizing your dislikes helps as much as verbalizing your loves. Catharsis is good. Bottling up your feelings is bad.

I hate bottling up my feelings.

Paul Mansfield is a writer, a photographer, a guitar player, a philosopher. Some he does well, some not so well, but he still tries them all. You can follow him on Twitter @pmansfield.

For your further reading pleasure, one of Paul’s short stories about coffee.

Paul Mansfield — Medium

This feels like I’m writing my obituary, but I’m not. Damn it, at least I hope that I’m not. I always find it hard to…

pmansfield.medium.com