10 Simple Ways To Cultivate More Joy In Your Daily Life

How you spend your days is how you spend your life

For the longest time, I’ve been on a quest to find happiness. Like most other humans, I believed that the meaning of life was to be happy. I read countless self-help books. I had many passionate conversations. I stayed at monasteries to study Buddhism, which is an ancient philosophy of happiness.

But at the same time, I continued to be profoundly miserable. I thought if I just could find a way to finally be happy, I would leave my misery behind. So I continued to search for the piece of information that would finally get me there. I continued to reflect extensively. It made me a little happier, but not that much.

I’ve since evolved my framing. My goal these days is not necessarily to be happy. Rather, it’s to be present. And to be free. To be at ease with whatever life throws at me. To be able to manage the full range of emotions without the need to suppress or escape them. I’m not striving to feel happy, I’m just striving to feel.

I realized that my constant hustle for self-improvement and the everlasting self-help content was so all-consuming it became counterproductive. What I needed to learn was not to be happy, but to just be. To not read another book on how to be happy, but to just take the time to have my coffee in the sun in the morning with my puppy curling up in my lap and be present with the happy moments. Buddhism definitely helped here, meditation trains your mind to be more present.

“A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moments, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.” — Abraham Hicks.

The big questions about the meaning of life and our own existence are important. Absolutely fundamental in fact, no question. But if we preoccupy ourselves with them too much, we may forget to live.

Rather, I’ve been thinking a lot more about joy. Joy feels more productive to crave. Because joy is temporary and actionable. I don’t expect to be joyful all day, every day. But I can sprinkle in small things that bring me moments of joy each day. Pursuing joy involves more acting and less thinking. Because while the answer to the question of what will make us happy can be a complex one, figuring out what brings you joy is often pretty straightforward.

So here are my top 10 ways to cultivate joy in your daily life.

1. Buy Yourself Fresh Flowers Every Week

Alright, you’ll probably think that’s a basic and non-creative point.

And yes, it might be. But I will be honest here and list the simple things that bring me immense amounts of joy, whether they are extravagant or not.

The beauty is that it doesn’t take much to ignite joy. That’s the whole thesis I’m trying to make here.

So I buy myself flowers in bright colors every other week and I place them all over my apartment, and every time I look at them, I feel sparkly.

2. Bring More Color Into Your Life

Flowers aren’t the only thing that’s colorful in my house.

Ever since reading this article on Goop (an interview with Ingrid Fetell Lee, who wrote a book about joy), I’ve been inspired to add more color to my life.

I used to wear almost exclusively black. Granted, I was living in New York, and all black is the basic bitch uniform there. It’s flattering, it’s easy, it’s chic. But last week I realized that I haven’t worn any black in a very long time.

Now, when I look into my closet and a range of colors and patterns greet me, my mood is instantly lifted. Fashion is a beautiful form of self-expression. In some way, it’s a cross of art and architecture, one that you get to personalize and wear on your body every single day.

I used to often be worried about being “too overdressed”. But every time I’d see someone in a fantastic colorful outfit, it would bring me joy. Well now I’ve become that person. I don’t care what people think, looking down on my pink floral maxi dress on a random Tuesday brings me joy in between a mundane workday and that’s the only thing that matters.

3. Buy Funky Stuff You Don’t Need

Okay, in theory, I like minimalism. I’d like to think of myself as a minimalist. But in actuality, I’m probably really not.

A couple of weeks ago I bought iridescent mason jars. Did I need them? No. Did I already have a collection of mason jars? Yes. Were they iridescent? No. Does iridescent glass bring me an irrational amount of joy? Absolutely.

As I was mocking myself to a friend after about how I had made another “essential” purchase, her answer to my sarcastic comment stopped me in my tracks: “Well if it brings you joy, it is essential.”

I’ve frequently thought about this since. She is so damn right. Yes, we are over extracting resources from our planet and yes consumerism is evil. I’m well aware, and while that reality has had a limited impact on my own consumerism, it has created a sense of guilt. Anytime I buy something I don’t need since becoming more “conscious” about sustainability, I feel bad. (I still continue to do so though, so apparently, I don’t feel bad enough?)

Can stuff make you happy?

No.

Can stuff bring you joy?

Absolutely, yes.

I (inwardly) smile every single time I make myself a little iced beverage and drink it out of my funky mason jar. It lightens up my day. I’m happy it’s part of my life. I realize there is no need to feel guilty about every single unnecessary purchase. Maybe just some of them. And my iridescent mason jar definitely isn’t one of them.

4. Do Something Small (Or Big) For Someone Else

Doing things for others makes us feel good. Maybe you’re the nurturing type or a caregiver, and this is your default mode. For many people, it’s not. It certainly isn’t for me.

As an introvert, I like staying in my own little bubble. I’m not super keen on making contact with strangers, more often than not I prefer to be left alone.

So I really have to make it an active intention of doing more for other people. Not necessarily because I want to be happier, more so because I want to be a good citizen of this planet. The joy I get from it is a byproduct.

Whether it’s friends, family, or a stranger. A small act of kindness like holding open the door for someone, giving someone a lift home, making a compliment, listening. Or a big act of kindness like planning a surprise birthday party, preparing a meal for a loved one, watching someone’s kid or pet, helping your friend with a job application. Sometimes we don’t feel like doing it, but we always feel good about doing it afterward.

5. Make Your Meals Special

I don’t do this always, but on days that I feel a little joy-deprived and simply meh, I make it a point to make my meals look extra beautiful.

Garnish your avocado toast with some microgreens and chili flakes. Cut up your sandwich diagonally. Arrange your salad topics in an articulate way. Get cute glass straws for your beverages. Whatever you need to do to make your meals feel a little extra, invest the extra minute (or cents).

This isn’t for Instagram, this is for you. You deserve a fantastic looking (and tasting) meal every single day.

6. Smile At Strangers

This is one of the easiest and quickest ways to cultivate joy. (Almost) every time I walk past a stranger, I make sure to send a little smile their way.

To be honest, in New York most people won’t even gift you with a glance. They can’t make eye contact. Everyone’s just speed walking through the streets. I maybe get 1/10 smiles back in New York. In LA, that ratio is substantially better. Almost everyone smiles back. If someone doesn’t, that’s the exception, not the norm.

There’s something beautifully warming about exchanging a wordless smile with a stranger. A moment of unity. Hi fellow human. I see you, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

You really have nothing to lose, other than a few awkward moments when people don’t smile back. But don’t get hung up on those. For the most part, you make everyone's day better by doing this — including your own.

7. Spend Time In Nature

Somehow, this point creeps into every single listicle I write about well-being. I can’t help it. Nature is just medicine.

It doesn’t matter what you do. Whether you simply go for a walk or hike, seek any body of water (river, canals, ocean), or escape into the woods. Stare at the clouds. Or at the moon. Or at some flowers. Or at a tree. Or at a sunset.

Nature really gives us one million reasons to be joyful, every single day. How magical that we live on this blue marble full of life. Go outside and soak it all in. You won’t feel joyful from scrolling on your phone for another hour. Take breaks from consuming content to consuming the vastness of the universe, it’s right at your fingertips. All you have to do is step outside.

8. Get Your Daily Dose Of Sunshine

Ok, this one obviously depends on where you live. If you’re not graced with an abundance of sunshine year-round as we are here in California, this might be less relevant for you. You can replace it with a hot bath or a 10-minute bundled-up brisk walk during the winter months or rainy days.

But for those of us that are blessed with daily sunshine: There’s truly nothing sweeter than finding a nice little spot, sitting down, closing your eyes, and like a little sunflower, tilting your face towards the sun. As we sit at our desks and type away, rushing from one meeting to the next, it’s easy to think we don’t have time. But you always have time for a 10-minute break. And if you don’t think you have the time, especially then you should take it.

For me personally, the simple joy from this is often followed by awe. I remember that gravity is pulling me into a ball spinning through space and that the light I’m feeling on my skin is emitted by a star burning 93 million miles away from earth. The combination of awe and joy is uniquely soothing, it feels like a warm hug.

9. Write Yourself Little Love Notes

This is something that has helped me in eating disorder recovery, and it’s a little stupid, but also kind of not. I write affirmations on my mirror. I change them up every once in a while to whatever I feel like I most needed to hear.

I felt comforted to hear that one of my friends does the same thing, for her boyfriend. He’s training for a big run, and she wrote on his mirror “I am the fastest runner”. It all sounds cute until you think about how often you’ll look at these little affirmations throughout your day. It doesn’t go unnoticed. You notice, and it goes somewhere. It goes into your subconscious.

Every time I sit on my toilet, I look up at my bathroom mirror and see “hi beautiful!”. Sometimes it makes me feel joyous, other times it makes me think “yeah right”. But as time goes on, more often than not it’s the former.

You can also write post-its and stick them in places around your apartment where you often find yourself hanging out. Or, if you want to be super extra, write yourself a love note and put it somewhere you don’t often frequent. That way you’ll be surprised when you find it. A little dash of joy guaranteed.

10. Get A Pet

Ok, this is my last point, because a furry friend is obviously not that simple. It’s a big commitment. But I had to include it. Because there’s truly nothing that has brought me more joy than my dog, period.

Here you have a little creature, who from the moment you adopt it, makes it its only mission to love you unconditionally.

There’s a long laundry list of things my dog does that bring me an inexplicable amount of joy, every single day:

• His little tail wiggling intensely when I show him any sort of affection
• His excitement when playing with a new toy, especially balls that he dribbles and chases like a little soccer player
• The way he extremely eagerly “jumps” into “sit” looking up at me expectantly the second I touch the bag his treats are stored in
• Him staring at me while I drive in the car, realizing that this level of obsession with me would creep me out from anyone but him
• The way he takes little “hops” in the grass like a little bunny
• The way he rolls over his own body when he speeds up during fetch and tries to stop too abruptly
• …

I don’t mean to bore you. I could come up with 20 more things.

You get the point. Get a dog. You won’t regret it.

Or, if you can’t commit to a dog, get a cat. Or a goldfish.

Any little companion will do.

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