10 Signs You’re An Extroverted Introvert With Anxiety Issues.
The world will try to convince you that the cowardly voice in your head due to a rare malfunction is just a delusion.
No 1.
Because with such a bold voice and such strong opinions, you shouldn’t have trouble articulating them.
The world will tell you that it will envy how easily your skin and bones blend in with the crowd and yet make your thoughts stand out.
They will say that they have never seen someone so "calm", so spontaneous, so unafraid of their opinions and the opinions of their allies. Her words sound so convincing that even if my body is always in the shadows, even if it’s so scary and full of fear, I was born to be in the spotlight. You will believe it for the first time.
No 2.
You are lonely and surrounded by friends, each of whom knows interesting pieces of your life. For example, how he played with Barbie tea sets until he was 15, how he went to fairs with his sister, and how he sold his father’s Ray-Bans. For 250 rupees.
But they’ll never know how you stayed up until 5 a.m. listening to a cinematic orchestra, drowning in the loneliness that followed you like a shadow on a cold night. You know that your biggest inhibition is starting a conversation, that you close your eyes every time someone opens your Facebook news feed, that it scares you just to see how happy people are, really happy.
You’ll never notice. You might not even realize that you’re sitting sideways at dinner, staring at your plate of food with half an appetite. Because the laughter is slowly driving you crazy.
You’ll never hear the deafening silence of thoughts as thoughts of inadequacy run through your head. The main reason is that the extrovert in you cannot handle too many emotions light up. When you wake up from your thoughts, you ask yourself, "Where the hell is my cold?"
No 3.
Social gatherings and parties are your worst nightmare and an escape from boredom. On the social side, I experience a rush of adrenaline every time a shy guy with dimples approaches me to talk about his folk indie style.
But the reserved part of you balks at that, giggling punctuated by forced smiles and secretly wishing he would leave so you could enjoy your solitude again.
This conundrum of what to do and what to do is enough to leave you exhausted, silently cursing the next person who comes to discuss poetry or drunken adventures.
No 4.
The world will try to understand the dynamics of your mind. But the world never will.
No 5.
Jokes such as "That’s why I have no friends" or "I’ll be single all my life" do not hide the insecurity, loneliness and lack of self-love in your image. After doing one of these, someone will someday notice the realization that spreads across your face every time you close your lips. I won’t reveal too much, but remember that it always happens.
No 6.
The most obvious thing is that people are truly blind. They won’t be able to see through you. What you and the world see are two different people coexisting within the same framework.
No 7.
You are the most "cold" lover the world has ever seen. You speak of Cruel Intentions with a grace that would make Ryan Phillippe blush, and your words are filled with confidence and a touch of indifference.
Little do I know that I’m like Reese Witherspoon, hiding behind the pages of my diary and listening to my favorite songs over and over again, even though I’ve never had any interest in reggae. You want to talk to him about how you’d never let go of the warmth of his arms if you could, how you’d love to hold him and read him poetry, how each word would unravel the story that unfolds on your lips. I understand.
Silence at the moment of repression. I know you want to tell him that the Bible is the only Bible that will accept your unbelieving heart, but you are too much of a wanderer. "Home" always scares you. Consistency scares me.
I know you want to tell him that the only reason you respond to his texts right away is because his contacts are the only ones who have custom notifications enabled. Even if you believe in selfishness, I understand that you want to tell him that only his needs come before yours.
But what about you? no. You are a "cold" girl. So every time she speaks to him, she wraps her words in a gift, using empty words and causal promises, and speaks to the emptiness in her stomach. You’re not cut out for it anyway.
No 8.
You don’t hate people. You don’t hate people. You don’t hate people. they only scare you. They’ve always done that. The words they said, when thrown like chewing used gum, stick to the soles of your feet and only create chaos, and now you have to get out of it. that is your fault. I should have been careful.
No 9.
Your panic attack is real. Your fear of being bombarded with news is real. Fear can cause paralysis. Just because you stay silent during a heated argument or talk about your day with people you don’t know doesn’t mean you’re not hiding behind your back. They are learning the art of pretending and social interaction. Your problem is real. That’s true. happen. you are here.
No 10.
I feel like I am both the problem and the solution. You really want to be yourself, or at least the person that people perceive you to be.
If it were you, this probably wouldn’t be a problem. You’re so tired of being yourself, you feel like you’re hiding inside the skin of a body you never belonged in, and your actions are rebellious, sometimes too foreign, and you feel like you’re not your own person. I find the reality of this almost unbelievable.
You are always fighting for who you are and who you can become. Maybe you are the person you think you can be. Maybe we’re part-time, living the lives of people we weren’t meant to be.
But darling, I know that someday your thoughts will make sense, and I hope you are brave enough to believe it.