avatarCarlo Zeno

Summary

The article "10 Signs You Have Your Nose Stuck In Your Navel" satirically critiques the self-absorbed behaviors of some writers on Medium.

Abstract

The piece humorously outlines ten indicators that a writer may be overly self-involved, such as not reciprocating engagement with other writers' work, overvaluing Medium accolades, and neglecting to explore the broader community of writers on the platform. It playfully admonishes those who prioritize personal accolades over meaningful interaction and acknowledges the collective struggle of writers seeking recognition. The author, Carlo Zen, invites fellow satirists to share their own Medium pet peeves and promotes engagement within the writing community.

Opinions

  • The author suggests that some writers on Medium are self-centered, as evidenced by their lack of reciprocity and failure to engage with others' content.
  • A Top Writer Badge on Medium is humorously compared to a Pulitzer Prize, implying that some writers inflate the significance of such platform-specific accolades.
  • The article expresses a critical view of writers who are envious of their peers, suggesting that such feelings are petty and counterproductive to the sense of community on Medium.
  • The piece mocks the overreaction of some writers to receiving boosts, highlighting the disproportionate excitement for minimal financial returns.
  • There is a subtle critique of gender or age bias among writers who are unaware of or ignore certain prominent figures in the Medium community, such as "Smillew" and "Grandma Smillew."
  • The author chastises writers who are more concerned with their own notifications than with reading and supporting the work of their peers.
  • The article emphasizes the importance of mutual support among writers and the value of reading and engaging with each other's work.

10 Signs You Have Your Nose Stuck In Your Navel

You know you can always take it back out

Yeah, I know, fascinating. Did you know there are other writers too? / Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash
  1. You don’t reciprocate. Were you an only child?
  2. You think a Top Writer Badge is a Pulitzer. It isn’t.
  3. When a fellow writer, deep in the muddy trenches of Medium, reads and claps on one of your stories, your nose is so glued to your belly button you don’t even notice, let alone check out that writer’s wall. You fucking prince.
  4. You are envious of your fellow Medium satirists. Honestly, get a life. We are all in this small dirty pond together — underpaid, malnourished, scorned. And you want to add to the humiliation?
  5. You think getting boosted means winning the Nobel Prize. Have any of your family, friends, or coworkers ever heard of Medium.com? I didn’t think so. This is a pretty good barometer of the breadth and magnitude of your fame and glory.
  6. You cheer when you get boosted like you just won the lottery. Did you pass primary school level mathematics? $13.56 is not the same as $25 million. Not on this planet or any other planet.
  7. You’ve never heard of Smillew. Have you been living under a rock?
  8. You’ve heard of Smillew but you’ve never heard of Grandma Smillew. Are you sexist? Ageist? Both?
  9. When faced with a decision between reading another writer’s new satire they just published or viewing your latest Medium notification about who the latest person was who breathed on your three day old story, you choose the latter. Do you have any shame?
  10. The amount of time you spend combing through all of the comments of your last story, and scrolling up and down to see who highlighted what, you could have read the latest stories of at least 10 other writers. What’s it like inside your navel? Dark? Rosy? Dim? Vast?
Deep, deep inside your navel… / Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

In the spirit of getting my nose out of my own navel, I extend an invitation to a handful of funny writers to write a top 10 listicle of their biggest Medium peeves. Tag me so I can spend some time reading your story. 😉

Victor Cardenas, Mark Suroviec, M.Ed., Patrick Eades, Ann James, Debdutta Pal, Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier), Kendra Sparkles, Srini, BichoDoMato, Douglas Lim, Susan Wheelock, Brian Lageose, Charlotte Ella King, and Robert Gowty

Before you go, check out these two worthwhile pieces by J.B. Davis and GE McKerrihan below 👇

Are you a writer? Subscribe to Medium using my link where you will be able to read, write, engage, and publish to your heart’s content.

Satire
Narcissism
Writing Life
Medium
Smillew Exists
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