10 Rules of Life You Need to Break — Or Ignore

“Life is short. Break the rules.” — James Dean

It starts early, the rule thing.

Look both ways when crossing the road. Don’t leave the table until everyone’s done. Stand with your shoulders back. Say please and thank you. Don’t talk with your mouth full.

That’s fine, we have to start somewhere. We have to play by some rules so that we can function non-dysfunctionally in an often dysfunctional world.

But some rules just don’t apply to adulting in the 21st Century — or perhaps they never did?

Here’s my take on them. See what you think.

10 Rules of Life You Need to Break — Or Ignore

“By all means, break the rules, and break them beautifully, deliberately, and well.” — Robert Bringhurst

1. Don’t speak to strangers.

This is a hand-me-down from the lectures we got as kids: don’t take lollies from strangers or get into cars with them. Fair call at the time — but this one doesn’t hold up too well in the adult world. As William B. Yeats said, strangers are the friends we haven’t yet met. Okay, sometimes, they’re the enemies — but we can’t rule everyone out before we’ve tried. It’s okay to speak to strangers — especially if you ever want to go on a date or do a job interview or meet anyone at anything. Enough said.

2. Make sure there are no gaps in your resume.

It used to be that potential employers would scan for the gaps in your resume because they “told a story” about you: that year you were on drugs, or sitting in a dark room after being fired or taking time out to see the world. OMG. Imagine the horror of Not Working for a while. Now, gaps are just gaps. Especially in the age of Coronavirus. Gaps might mean you rate living a full life over climbing a career ladder that, as Stephen Covey suggested, may be leaning against the wrong wall. Be proud of your gaps.

3. Eat everything on your plate.

This gem came mostly from the mouths of our mothers who wanted us to know that there were starving children all over the world who would love a shot at that leftover spag bol we’re so keen to pass up. But having to eat every single thing you’re ever given causes food/eating problems: it turns food into a weird, scary thing when it’s really just hanging out on a plate waiting for its destiny. If you detest something, don’t eat it. When you’re full, stop. Food isn’t going to hate us if we don’t eat it. Seriously.

4. Get a job with Career Prospects.

Career prospects? Who knows what those are anymore? Traditional career paths have been tipped on their heads. None of us know where the world of work is heading anymore. So get a job you like. Or create one. Find a way of making money that pays your bills and doesn’t make you want to vomit. If you get really good at it AND you persist, it could lead somewhere unexpectedly great.

5. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

This one came from the idea that we shouldn’t mess with what works well. But. Big BUT. It debases all attempts at improvement. Imagine if we were still stuck with computers that filled whole rooms instead of carrying them in our backpacks? Candles weren’t broken but imagine if we still relied on them to light our way? If it’s going to be helpful to make something better, why not try?

6. Only speak when you’re spoken to.

Yes, I can see how being the first person to say hello could be a terrible error. Under this rule we’re not allowed to start a conversation with anyone — ever. We’re not allowed to offer any of our own ideas or thoughts first. We can only speak when someone is waiting for us to speak back. Hmmmm. Obey this rule if you must, but it might be hard to make friends that way. Just saying.

7. Don’t ask too many questions (because curiosity killed the cat).

Curiosity killed the cat, according to an old proverb. But what cat? And why do we need to learn from that cat? Apparently this rule means don’t poke your nose into other people’s affairs. That’s sound advice, but if you want to find out stuff, you need to ask questions. Lots of them. There’s no such thing as too many questions unless someone begs you to stop. If that happens, choose a new target.

8. Do your research (before you do anything).

It’s great to plan, it’s smart to prepare — especially if you’re about to take a big risk with someone else’s money. But too many people get stuck in the research and planning phase of everything, they find so many barriers that they never get started. So don’t wait for the perfect moment. It doesn’t exist, anyway. Do things before you’re ready. You can modify them as you go. And sometimes you need to find out what doesn’t work the hard way.

9. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

This rule is good in theory, everyone deserves respect. But some people are just not worth the effort — or the heartbreak. I know: our actions train other people in how to treat us, but the sad truth is some people are never going to be up for the lesson. They won’t even turn up for class. When someone consistently treats you badly — despite your efforts to turn it around — let them go. And if they follow you, block them.

10. Never tell a lie.

Don’t tell big whoppers. Don’t lie to break laws or hearts. But honesty is not always the best policy. We don’t need to hear the utter truth of everything — and we don’t need to pass it on either. If any of us knew all the things that were said about us behind our backs we would never sleep again. If a white lie can save someone from a little hurt, then it just might be the right thing to do.

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