10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than Pizza

#2 It’s still hot the morning after

After years of intensive research, Clarissa G concluded that pizza is better than sex. It was a great article, and she was wrong. But I was only a research assistant, and she was the boss, so she got to publish first.

I can’t stay silent anymore; sex is better than pizza!

The Top 10 Reasons Why Sex is Better than Pizza

1) Blowing makes things hotter, not colder.

2) It’s still hot the morning after.

3) You can do it every day and lose weight.

4) Doing it underwater doesn’t ruin the experience, to the contrary.

5) It doesn’t matter if your partner lies face down or up; both sides look good.

6) Chef Gordon Ramsey won’t complain if you put pineapples on your partner.

7) The hot delivery guy is already in your bedroom and not going anywhere.

8) Round isn’t the only acceptable shape.

9) If you don’t come in under thirty minutes, there’s an actual person to whom you can complain, not just an answering machine.

And the #1 reason why sex is better than pizza:

10) No one calls you a pig if you do it directly on the floor.