10 Proven Strategies For Building Mental Strength

A healthy mind is the core of a healthy life.

The “image” of mental strength looks different for everyone. We all have different values, beliefs, backgrounds, upbringings, and life experiences. The journey is more important than the destination, as each of us walk our own path in life.

That journey happens every single day as we choose how we show up in the world, how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves.

These decisions quite literally create the reality we live in, our quality of life, and the relationships that we enjoy.

Below, I’m going to discuss ten behaviors that mentally healthy people strive to engage in as often as possible.

Is anyone perfect? No.

Are all ten attainable every single day? Probably not.

Should you feel guilty if you fall short sometimes? Absolutely not.

Can these points serve as a compass that keeps you along a happy and healthy life journey? Most definitely.

Let’s explore:

1: Practice gratitude.

Feeling a deep sense of gratitude for the people and things in your life is directly tied to how good you feel about life itself.

Seems simple, right? Recognize the things that matter, be grateful for them, and feel good about life.

Easy!

Why, then, is it so difficult to “focus on the good,” sometimes?

Life can be overwhelming, obligations are looming, your shareholders are barking at you, your kids’ schedules are filling up, that project at work is already past its deadline…

It’s only natural that you feel stressed out as you’re trying to pick up all of these proverbial pieces of paper from the ground, only to see new ones falling around you.

The truth is, though, that taking the time to intentionally feel gratitude for the things that matter will help you to reset, refocus, and see life through a clearer lens.

It’ll help you remember how far you’ve come, rather than looking at how far is left to go.

It’ll help you stay connected to your partner rather than just passing them in the hall.

It’ll help you stay present in the moment.

It’ll empower you to remember who you are, and why you do what you do.

It’ll focus your attention on what you have instead of being envious of what others have.

Losing sight of all this, naturally, can disconnect us from those around us, and from ourselves.

I encourage all of my private clients to keep a running list of things they’re grateful for each and every day. Take a few minutes in the morning or the evening, and engage in the physical act of putting pen/cil to paper and absorbing all that you’ve worked for.

2: Celebrate others’ victories.

David Goggins said:

“You’ll never meet a hater who’s doing better than you.”

What does this mean?

It means that people who are enjoying their lives, who are mentally healthy, who are confident and comfortable in themselves — have no desire nor time to drag others down.

In fact, they’re usually seeking to lift others up.

The happiest and most successful people I’ve ever met (not just monetary success, but living in alignment with themselves and feeling a deep sense of fulfillment) approach others with kindness, compassion, and service.

If you feel envious, jealous, or even angry when you see someone else doing well — the truth is that these feelings are rooted in a dissatisfaction with yourself.

I believe that it’s a true sign of strength when you can feel happy for someone else, even if things aren’t going your way in the moment.

Sit with that happiness, though. Instead of jealousy, feel excitement for them. Use it as a source of inspiration, not one of negativity.

It may just be the mindset shift you need to turn things around, and then they can celebrate you.

3: Be intentional about what you feed your body AND mind.

Overall health is a direct result of what we choose to feed ourselves, right? (Obviously, we all know that diseases, genetics, injuries, and other external circumstances are outside of our control).

Here, though, we focus on all of the things that we can control in order to live the fullest and most vibrant lives that we can.

A huge part of that is what we choose to feed our bodies, and also our minds.

That means the right fuels, but also the right information.

It means avoiding physical and mental junk food.

The stuff that you know isn’t doing you any good, or worse, is bringing you harm.

Mentally healthy people have no interest in degrading this level of health, why would they? They want to perform at their best, maximize clarity, presence, connection, and self-love.

A direct sign of one’s self-love is what they choose to feed themselves.

The food they eat.

The information they absorb.

This means read, read, and read some more. But be mindful about what you read. Books that help you move forward in life, gain new knowledge, and refresh your perspective.

The people they spend time around (more on this coming).

As we established, there are plenty of factors that we can’t control in this life, which is even more reason to make the right decisions with the things that we can.

4: Maintain boundaries in your relationships.

One of the easiest ways to negatively impact your mental health is to spend time around negative people.

That energy can just…seep into our pores.

It can infiltrate our minds, our ideas, or level of ambition, motivation, or willingness to go after our goals.

It can deeply impact the way we feel about ourselves.

It shouldn’t, but it does.

Understanding this, mentally healthy people remove themselves from situations (ahem, people) who can cause such impact.

It’s simply a matter of self-preservation. It’s okay to love people from a distance. It’s okay to maintain these boundaries. It’s okay to get clear on where you’re going and therefore the types of people who are also walking along the same path.

You cannot live a positive life if you’re surrounded by negative people, the quicksand will keep pulling you down every time you try to climb out.

5: Maintain a fitness routine.

“James, I don’t want to join a gym!”

Great! Nobody said that you had to.

Go for a walk. Practice yoga in your living room. Get into badminton. Run a marathon.

Just do…something.

Regularly.

Every day.

Move.

Get up.

Be active.

Use your body.

There is an inextricable physiological connection between one’s body and mind. Mental and physical health are tightly intertwined.

We spoke earlier about what you feed yourself, but the damage done by a sedentary lifestyle where you barely move can be immeasurable.

Most people get up in the morning, sit in their car while they commute (or if you work from home, you head to the desk), then there’s hours of sitting, followed by the commute home, to be too tired to do anything else but, well, sit some more.

It’s no wonder you feel like crap.

It’s no wonder you just get even more tired.

It’s no wonder that everything is sore.

It’s no wonder that you have no drive or motivation to get up and do what needs to be done.

All of that, of course, weighs heavily on your mental health too. Feeling sluggish, tired, stuck in a rut, trapped on the hamster wheel of life.

Is regular physical activity the solution to all of your problems? No, of course not.

Can it spark the mental and physical energy and confidence that you need in order to start making changes? Absolutely.

6: Understand that failure is an event, not a character trait.

Just because you “fail” at something doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

Failure is a temporary occurrence that we must learn from in order to do better next time.

This is how mentally healthy people approach a failure. They understand it for what it is, they see to take lessons from it, and then they move forward again.

They do not let it define them.

They do not tie their worth to it.

They do not wallow in it for longer than is necessary.

They see their value as intrinsic (which it is) and therefore don’t let a temporary stumble throw them too far off track.

7: Zoom out.

Any of my clients will tell you that I love speaking in analogies.

I find that storytelling and relatable associations can help to anchor ideas and concepts into our minds in ways that stick for the long term.

In this case, something that 99.9% of us can relate to is — Google maps.

Imagine that an issue, challenge, or problem arises in your life.

For most people, they zoom in on the problem. It consumes them. It invades their mental space. It commands their emotional and mental investment.

Sometimes, it should. There are certainly situations that arise in life that require our full and undivided attention.

The key, however, is knowing which situations those are, and which…well, they aren’t.

I believe we can do this by zooming out.

If you zoom all the way in on an object in Google maps, it’ll take up your entire screen. It looks gigantic. Looming. All-encompassing.

What happens, though, if you zoom out?

The further out you go, that is to say, the bigger of the picture you see…the smaller the item appears to be.

Suddenly that enormous building, crater, or piece of land you were enthralled with is just a speck on the map of the state, country, or earth.

It’s much easier to approach a challenge if we keep it in perspective. We can determine just how much energy to allocate to it, and get a clearer vision for where it actually fits in the map of our life.

This helps to reduce stress, to boost logical thinking by eliminating overwhelm, and also helps you see things “around” the object (in this case, new solutions) that you might’ve missed when you were zoomed too far in.

8: Value your own time.

What is life itself, after all, but time?

Time invested with loved ones.

Time invested doing things we enjoy.

Time invested learning, exploring, and growing.

It’s uncomfortable to admit, but our time here is finite. Each moment spent doing one thing, is a moment we won’t have to do something else.

Mentally healthy people hold this reality close to their hearts and therefore value the time that they invest, and are discerning about where (and with whom) they invest it.

They don’t waste it on frivolous arguments or repeating the same negative patterns for years.

They don’t waste it with the wrong people.

They don’t waste it in the wrong careers, or relationships.

Now — one of the first things I said in this article is that I fully understand some things are outside of our control.

You can’t always just stand up and walk away from a bad career move, or leave a deeply complex relationship fraught with emotional barbed wire.

You can, however, begin to take the necessary steps and plot your path forward.

You do this because you understand that each second spent in the wrong place, or with the wrong person — is a second taken away from spending it with the right one.

9: Manage your own self-talk.

The way that we talk to ourselves quite literally creates the reality we live in.

I’m not talking about standing in the corner mumbling nonsense, I’m talking about the thoughts you have when you’re by yourself that are about yourself.

This is the voice that you cannot hide from.

The one that says “you’re not worthy.”

The one that says “they’re out of your league.”

The one that says “you’re not good looking/smart/talented enough.”

It can also be the one that says “look at how far you’ve come.”

“You’re working to improve, and that’s amazing.”

“You’re stronger than you think.”

“You’ve overcome 100% of your hardest days.”

Mentally healthy people put in the work (it’s not easy, it’s not simple, it’s not an immediate fix) to manage the way they talk to themselves, instead of simply accepting these passive statements and fleeting thoughts as reality.

You’re telling yourself a story about what you’re capable of, and who you are every single day.

Are you holding the pen?

10: Construct your life around your most authentic identity.

Mentally healthy people work to define who they are, and also who they want to become.

They do the inner work to look within, to strip themselves down to the most raw form, to look their insecurities, weaknesses, past traumas, and struggles directly in the face and say: You are no longer in charge of me.

They consciously and deliberately choose who they want to become, and get honest about what it’s realistically going to take every single day in order to evolve into that person.

What daily habits, routines, and mindsets does that version of themselves have?

Where do they spend their time, and who do they spend it with?

What deeper purpose do they serve with the decisions they make and the work that they do?

What standards do they hold for themselves and for those they allow into their life?

And then — they gather the courage over time to construct their entire reality around those answers.

This is how they become certain in who they are and fulfilled in the life they’re living.

It’s not an accident.

It doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s not a matter of chance, or divine intervention.

It is intentional, deliberate, challenging, and rewarding.

And, at the end of the day, it is worth every ounce of effort that it required from you.

• My private clients find themselves living more confident, purposeful lives and cultivating healthier relationships with those around them. Click here to book a free call to see if we’re a fit to work together.
• James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach.
• Finding success in creating hundreds of viral articles and videos on building limitless confidence and healthier relationships, James has accumulated over 39 million visitors to his website and a collective social media following of over 400,000.
• James speaks at live events and in the media across the U.S. and has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.