10 Phrases Developers Should Quit Using Immediately
Are You Saying These at Work?
Software development is a difficult game. Keeping up with the latest technology can be tricky and let us face it, software development is hard. That is without being exposed to those who tell us we are not professional unless we work 60-hour weeks.
It’s no wonder that software developers are looking for alternative destinations for their work life.
Yet instead of retiring, software developers would have a better life if they retired these 10 phrases before the next stand-up.
Here are those sinning sayings, the toxic talk that you should stop, why it’s so bad, and what you should replace it with.
Let’s go!
I don’t know
Some developers will reply “I don’t know” to pretty much any query that goes their way. You know the person. They don’t respond quickly and when they do it seems that they don’t know anything.
The Secret Developer seldom doesn’t know anything.
Why you shouldn’t say it
Shrugging your shoulders and saying that you don’t know usually means someone else on the team needs to answer. It’s a poor get-out for poor preparation and poor teamwork.
Of course, if you really don’t know something don’t bluff your way through a solution. It is much better if you say you don’t know, but you are willing to check and find a solution. Be proactive!
What you should replace it with
Admit if you don’t know the answer but reply to questions that you should know the answer to with a knowledgeable and considered answer. Professionalism is communicating in a timely way, in the right way, and with the right information.
You’re wrong
We are all tempted to say it. Someone guesses the answer to a technical question. This is after they’ve forgotten the release schedule. They don’t seem to know anything, so the temptation to tell them (in case they aren’t aware is just too strong). You say, “You’re wrong” and sit satisfied after your announcement.
Why you shouldn’t say it
Telling people, they are wrong effectively tells them that they are worthless and shouldn’t even bother trying.
This can destroy morale in the team, and even make enemies of the people you work with. Telling people, they are wrong makes it personal and means people are less likely to listen to your opinions in the future — it’s a true lose/lose situation.
Remember if you tell The Secret Developer they are wrong, you are probably wrong.
What you should replace it with
You can call someone’s work or opinion wrong without saying that they are wrong, something like “That opinion is wrong”. However, more sophisticated people can hint about the wrongness without offending “Have you thought about…” or “What about…” can preserve a speaker’s dignity and get the most out of them socially and professionally.
It works on my computer
I previously wrote a parody article about this. Seriously, though, don’t say “It works on my computer. As a software developer, you should be used to working in a variety of environments and producing quality work. You should ditch the poor excuses and improve the quality of what you do.
Why you shouldn’t say it
Saying it works on your computer puts the onus on the test team (or whoever reported the defect) to prove that there is a problem with the code. Since you didn’t check it on the test environment (I know you didn’t) you can’t be sure about that.
Great coders don’t assume they’re right, they check their code and become certain they are right.
What you should replace it with
You should be able to identify why something isn’t working and what should be done about it. This means working on your preparation and working hard before meetings.
He always does that
Have you ever worked in a team where someone is treated as the runt of the litter? Everybody piles on when there is an issue because Dan hasn’t grasped how to set up his environments correctly.
Usually said behind someone’s back, the team seems to mutter “he always does that”.
Why you shouldn’t say it
This demeans a person and their work. It might even verge into bullying as this is the type of thing that happens behind people’s backs and is simply poor behavior.
What you should replace it with
Instead of making them the whipping boy, why not support them to get better and grow? The whole team, company, and customers would benefit. It might surprise you, but bullying others is unprofessional. This is one case where you should say nothing.
I’m working on ticket T1234
In any standup, the most important thing to be communicated is whether there are blocks on your work. You need to give the team context, so they know what the issue is and what (if anything) needs to be done.
It’s disappointing when someone says, “I’m working on ticket T1234 and am doing design work”. What is that anyway?
Why you shouldn’t say it
In Agile the whole team must understand the issue. When you reduce a problem to a number, many of your audience will assume that the issue does not apply to them,
What you should replace it with
You can name the ticket number, sure, but also mention the context around the piece of work. That will help everyone understand what you are speaking about.
Saying nothing
There are many reasons that people say nothing at all, some of these are valid and some are not. The dearth of quality we’ve seen in stand-up meetings is enumerated with the steady sound of silence.
In our team, someone just announced that they are expecting a baby. To silence. Nobody was sufficiently engaged to give any well-wishes to the excited parent, and it was rather depressing all around.
Why you shouldn’t say it
You should be engaged in meetings. That means both listening and responding appropriately.
What you should replace it with
If someone is an expectant parent say congratulations. If someone has a technical question answer it. Wake up and respond like you are awake.
It’s a FE issue | It’s a BE issue
Passing the hot potato to the next person in the team so you don’t need to act on the issue at hand is something that frequently happens in software development.
Why you shouldn’t say it
Classic blame game. If you aren’t taking responsibility for your work, you’re in effect moving that responsibility to another person or team. It’s not a good look and does not help anyone deliver software features.
We should be one team
How about, “Let’s figure this out together”? Remember that there’s no ‘front-end’ or ‘back-end’ on a sinking ship.
What you should replace it with
I’m going to work with X to support this fix. Of course, this relies on you communicating and even working on a solution before it has fully surfaced as a problem.
Overestimation: This ticket is worth 8 points
I’ve worked with several developers who add on a few points for a contingency to tickets. They do it so they can complete their work without ever putting any extra time in beyond the bare minimum.
Why you shouldn’t say it
You’re practically stealing from the company when you aren’t working to your maximum. Your candence is slower than it might be, just because you are scared of not making an artificial deadline. This then means we don’t have good data about how long it takes to deliver features.
What you should replace it with
A valid estimate for the work you are given.
With great power comes great responsibility
I love your Spider-Man quote. I do. It’s much less good that you keep using it for situations where it doesn’t make any sense. All the time.
Why you shouldn’t say it
Professionalism is communication that makes sense, and if you’re quoting someone in lycra you aren’t being professional.
What you should replace it with
Speaking common sense and being an expert in your field. How does that sound?
That’s [****]
Swearing isn’t the right thing to do in a professional environment. Ever.
What you should replace it with
Even if someone is a *, be nice. Try not to be so judgmental at all and use business language at all times.
What you should replace it with
Professional communication.
Conclusion
If you’re using these phrases, it doesn’t guarantee that you’re an unprofessional developer. It does make it more likely, however.
How about thinking about what you’re saying before you say it?
That is, be nice children.
About The Author
Professional Software Developer “The Secret Developer” can be found on Twitter @TheSDeveloper and regularly publishes articles through Medium.com
The Secret Developer has never hit a puck in anger.
