10 Mindf*cked Quotes from The Way of the Superior Man

One of the best books ever written on masculinity.

The Way of the Superior Man is a book written by David Deida that came out in 1997. Despite its title, the book speaks as much about the nature of men as it does about the nature of women.

In a time with so much disinformation about genders, I did not only find the book refreshing — but eye-opening.

It taught me a lot about masculinity and clarified a variety of things I subconsciously knew but could never put my finger on.

Here are the 10 best quotes from the book.

1. On Men’s Mission

Without a conscious life-purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating events. Without knowing his life-purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.

Men’s number one priority in life is their core mission.

All men are born with a goal, a purpose that lives inside them. This purpose animates them, it’s the primary reason why they wake up in the morning.

To be happy and fulfilled, men should live their life according to their purpose and go after their mission.

Men that do not, or that compromise their mission for something else, lose their masculinity — and their attractiveness.

2. On Growth

The masculine wants to feel the bliss of a life lived at the edge, and if he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself, he’ll watch it on TV.

Men should not remain inactive. Inactivity invites boredom which stimulates contempt, cynicism, and eventually, depression.

Men grow by living their lives on the edge. That doesn’t mean living a dangerous life. That means living on the edge of your comfort zone. That means constantly expanding it.

Growth and achievement are core desires of men. Many don’t have the balls to go out in the world and achieve stuff themselves, so they get similar feelings by playing video games or watching TV.

3. On Women’s Tests

A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness.

Women want strong, capable, trustworthy men they can count on.

They’re also afraid that a man in a relationship will soften and weaken.

In order to know when their man become soft, women test them.

The unaware man will react badly to the test and fail it.

The Superior Man will recognize the test for what it is, and pass it.

When a man passes a test, the woman falls a little bit more in love with him as he’s proven he’s as strong as he was.

A woman will never cease to test her man.

Men should be aware of this in their relationship.

Fail her tests, and her attraction for you will slowly fade away.

4. On Men’s Desires

If you feel it is demeaning for a woman to be the “object” of your polar attraction, then you have probably disowned your masculine core. You have energetically emasculated yourself by condemning and suppressing your native desires. You are negating your sexual essence, rather than being at home with it.

Your attraction to the feminine is inherent.

Unfortunately, many men were shamed for being attracted to girls.

They were humiliated for desiring to have sex with them.

These men as a result deny their sexual feelings and bury them deep inside. Doing so, they deny themselves of their masculine essence.

As a result, they lose their identity, attractiveness, and eventually, themselves.

These men should understand that attraction isn’t only desirable, it’s beautiful.

Instead of fearing their feelings, they should embrace them.

Instead of getting tense, they should relax.

Men’s attraction to the feminine is unavoidable.

Embrace it.

5. On Choosing a Girl

You are always attracted to your sexual reciprocal. So, if you have a more masculine sexual essence, you will be attracted to a more feminine woman.

Most men make the mistake to look for a girl that is like them. It’s wrong.

Masculine men should look for feminine women. The first reason is that they’ll be more attracted to her.

And the second reason is that she’ll be more attracted to him.

The more masculine you are, the more feminine your girl should be.

In a relationship, the extreme attract each other.

They ensure that the relationship remains balanced, fulfilling, and alive.

6. On Women’s Nature

In the feminine reality, words, and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship. When she says, “I hate you,” or “I’ll never move to Texas,” or “I don’t want to go to the movies,” it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well-considered stance with respect to events and experience.

In their love life, men are problem-based. “I want X, so, I am going to do what I need to get X”.

Women are different. In their love life and relationships, women are much more driven by feelings than men.

The problem is that women’s feelings also change quickly. When a woman states that she will (or will not) do something, she’s expressing that she feels like she will or will not do something at that moment.

When her feelings change, so will her mind. This is often surprising to men who don’t understand how their girlfriend can announce they’ll do X and end up doing Y.

Men should learn not to be too attached to their girls’ feelings.

Many men struggle with the constantly changing nature of women. The Superior Man enjoys and loves every moment of it instead.

7. On Women’s Core Desire

The feminine wants to be filled with love.

Men’s main purpose in life is to fulfil their mission.

Women’s purpose is to find love.

Women seek love through all of the things that they do. They seek the love of their family, of their boyfriends, and their children.

If they fail to get love, they will find some substitute — social media, food, conversation.

While men constantly seek to “empty themselves” through sports, video games, etc, women constantly seek to “fill themselves up” with love.

Most problems in a relationship come from the fact that men aren’t letting their love flow for their girlfriends.

8. On Relationships

Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.

Relationships that sustain are relationships with great polarization.

The more masculine a man is and the more feminine a woman is, the more chances the relationship will last.

The relationship is threatened once a girl is becoming more masculine, or when a man is becoming more feminine.

It usually happens when the couple has been spending too much time together.

Both men and women should take some time at least once a week to hang out with people from their respective genders.

Men should “recharge” with their made bodies and women should “recharge” with their girlfriends.

This will ensure that the polarization is kept in balance and that mutual attraction doesn’t fade.

When a man is withdrawing love, he doesn’t serve his girlfriend. This is the reason for most problems in a relationship. Women’s part is to keep intimacy alive. Men’s part is to grow the relationship.

The Superior Man constantly let his love flow to his girl.

This ensures it keeps her happy and fulfilled.

9. On Women’s Expectations

One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy is to be able to relax and surrender, knowing that her man is taking care of everything.

Many men make the mistake to treat their girlfriends as if they were a guy.

But they’re not.

Leadership and decision-making are strong masculine qualities that women love in men.

Women don’t want to have to make a decision and choose. They count on men to do that.

While men love it when someone tells them “today, we’ll do whatever you want”, women would much rather hear “today, I am taking care of everything, just relax and follow my lead”.

They want a strong masculine man they can rely on and surrender to.

They don’t want to lead. They want you to do it.

10. On Men’s Nature

The essential masculine ecstasy is in the moment of release from constraint.

The ultimate desire of men is freedom.

Men are constantly in search of a release. Everything they do is oriented toward freeing themselves from constraints.

This is why masculine men become particularly emotional when the release finally happens.

This explains why men are moved by war stories and the struggle for freedom.

This explains why men have missions and get captivated by tales featuring such.

Until men live in accordance with their deepest desires, they will neither be fulfilled nor happy.

It is only by living an honest and congruent life aligned with who they are and what they want that men can fully embody their masculinity that women deeply desire.

The Way of the Superior Man is to become clear on your mission, making it the first priority in your life, and going after it.

It will be hard. It will be scary.

But no one said being a Superior Man was easy.

For a complete summary of the Way of the Superior Man, head to auresnotes.com.