Satirical Listicle
10 Lucrative Side Hustles You Should Avoid
Bobblehead performance artistry is not a sound investment

Adding passive income can help raise your standard of living, but only if you choose the perfect side hustle that matches your energy and experience.
Here is a list of gig work to avoid, so you don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Drive-thru spinal fluid clinic
If you value moving your extremities, wait until the car stops before donating spinal fluid.
Recycling Thanksgiving turkey
Are you tired of high grocery store prices? Try our Flebman’s Own 100% Recycled Turkey. Available in a smooth spread or chunky butter.
Drive-thru divorce truck in the IKEA parking lot.
Anyone that can make it through that maze of cardboard furniture with their relationship still intact has my respect and admiration.
Re-adoption tax credit scam
Did you know that adopting a child can qualify you for a tax credit of up to 15,000 dollars? What if you adopted, unadopted, then readopted the same child every year before filing your taxes?
Stealing your roommate’s plasma.
You’re bunking with a gold mine if he’s a heavy sleeper.
Working at Twitter
Assuming Elon Musk lets you inside the building.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Don’t let all the “dude!” and pizza fool you. Master Splinter keeps the turtles on a strict training regimen fighting crime. Is free rent worth it if you have to live in the sewer?
Bobblehead performance artist
Intriguing — BPA may be the only job on this list I would pay to see — once.
NFT Printing
Put the fun in non-fungible. Expert financial persons say big money is made when you buck the trends. You should juke left when everyone jukes right. I guarantee no one else is printing NFTs on 120 lb. ivory cardstock.
Improv assassin
Are you extroverted and incredibly creative? Do you love bright lights, cheering crowds, and being paid to kill? Yes, And!
Are you disappointed with this list? Do you want a side hustle guaranteed to make a 6-figure passive income instead? For a limited time, you can…
[note to self: insert some 💩💩💩 e-learning course that will make me some yacht 💰💰💰]
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