10 Loud Signs It’s Time You Hire A Life Coach
Your dull life won’t change if you don’t make new, active choices.

Your life is okay. You’re mentally stable. You know you don’t need a therapist.
But you also wish you were happier, freer, bolder. Perhaps living a more fulfilling life according to what feels good for you, not other people. (Do you even know what feels good for you?)
Partnering with a powerful coach means a few things:
You’re finally investing in yourself and your life, which, for women especially, is potent self-advocacy. You’re making time to honestly acknowledge and face the things that are not working for you. You’re taking agency by admitting you want things to change and you’re stepping up to change them.
You will hit up against limiting beliefs and learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable as you unravel the inner narratives that are keeping you stuck and repeating the same behaviors. Things fall apart so that we can clear the decks for new, more aligned things, to fall back together.
You are going to be held accountable. Any coach worth investing in will hold you as accountable as you wish to be held. In my experience, this looks different for everyone at different times. Often, in the first few sessions, clients are tender as we clear out a lot of emotion and old, stuck stuff. Accountability to take bold actions is out of place here. It’s a time of holding and tenderness.
However, when we’ve reached the point where a client is able to see clearly and is dreaming up wonderful future possibilities, accountability is paramount.
It doesn’t matter how clear or excited you are about new potentials, if you don’t take consistent, small actions towards your new life, nothing will happen. Even if it’s exciting, it’s new, and new can be quite scary. Being held accountable for tiny, regular actions that move you forward is how big ideas become realities.
If any of the following resonates, know that committing to evolving yourself and calling in support, mentorship, and back-up for your brave and true-to-you journey, is a powerful way to make huge shifts in your life, in a short space of time.
You’re Repeating Patterns That Make You Feel Awful
We all have unconscious habits that have literally been wired into our brains over the course of our lives. They become mindless highways and despite us desiring to change, their on-ramps are familiar and well-worn.
Speaking to someone about what you’re doing and what you want to change summons hidden and often shame-filled behaviors out of the dark and into full view.
When we do this (with great compassion), we begin integrating and accepting parts of ourselves that we usually hide, reject, or ignore. This frees up energy to bring daily, conscious intention to new habits that we would like to cultivate.
This happens in tiny increments, over time, and with great kindness.
Your Life Is Set Up With Little-To-No Time For Yourself
Women are especially at risk here. Our roles as mother, lover, colleague, carer, friend, etc, suck us in and we get confused. We think that if we just did our roles better or more efficiently, we would have more time for us. The worst manifestation of this is a woman defining herself solely by the role she plays in other’s lives. It’s disempowering and incredibly limiting.
You need to come before your roles. End of story. It’s your life. You are not here to be a role-player. You are here to experience your life, on your terms. Depending on your cultural and social background and upbringing, you may hit up against a lot of inner resistance as you claw back your time and energy. This is normal. Keep going.
You Keep The Peace Rather Than Do What’s Right For You
The world does not need another woman being nice. Nice women are holding the world back from evolving into a healthy and just society. Nice women are getting in the way of bullshit being called out and flung out.
Yes, it’s scary when you first start advocating for yourself but do you know what’s scarier? Lying on your deathbed wishing you’d stood up to your in-laws/had better sex/gone on that three-week vacation with your bestie while your partner held down the fort.
Stop messing around. We need you shining your light not dimming yourself and squirming around as a she’s-so-nice extra in someone else’s story.
You Justify Unhappiness With Gratitude And Acceptance
I see through your love-and-light dance. I do. There’s a universe-sized difference between accepting your shitty reality because ‘it is what it is and it could be way worse’ and hiding your apathy, denial, and fear of change under the guise of acceptance.
Don’t even get me started on the gratitude cop-out. When you’re grateful for your terrible relationship that fulfills none of your healthy needs because ‘hey, at least he’s not a serial killer’, that’s not you being positive and optimistic. That’s you having dropped the bar below sea level. It’s time to pick it up.
You Live For The Weekend
At some point in adulthood, we all realize the impermanence of everything. People die, youth fades. Careers, friendships, homes come and go.
Do not make the mistake of assuming that your peers are also just surviving their weeks and holding out for Friday evening. Do not kid yourself into believing that this is just how it is to be an adult (and “I’m so grateful for my crappy boss and soul-crushing job”).
If you’re privileged enough to be reading this, I’m calling you out. Stop messing around. You absolutely have it in you to craft a life that is more thriving than surviving. I know because I’m living proof and you and I are more alike than we are different.
Rather Than Back Yourself, You Think “This Is It. This Is Just How I Am.”
It’s not true. I’m paraphrasing here but you are something like 98% changeable. It’s only things like your eye color that we can’t do much about. Your thoughts, beliefs, habits? We can absolutely change those so that your inner dialogue is the most supportive, nourishing, and growth-producing conversation you have, every day, for the rest of your life.
You speak to yourself more than you speak to anyone else, it worth investing time in getting that conversation back on track and shoving your inner critic out of the driver’s seat.
You Fantasize About Starting Something, Ending Something, Trying Something, But You Don’t Act
It’s so easy, safe, and comfortable to research, read, learn, dream, visualize, journal, or discuss what we need to or want to do.
Taking intentional action requires courage, fortitude, and feeling uncomfortable. Being held accountable by an external source for executing our new actions sets us up for positive momentum in the direction of our desires.
If you are waiting for the next course, next Monday, next better mood, next inspiration, I promise you nothing will change.
You’re Stuck In Your Head, Mentally Fondling Bad Beliefs About Life And Yourself
We’re all guilty of this. We all need to take responsibility for our mindset and do the work of shifting ourselves, again and again, away from destructive thought loops towards constructive ideas.
Beliefs are just thoughts you think repeatedly and regularly. That’s all. It’s entirely possible to disentangle from them, challenge them, and let them go.
You’re Disconnected From Pleasure
You’re built for pleasure. Ask anyone in the field of embodiment. The female body is designed for feeling all kinds of good, often, and through a variety of means.
There’s sensual pleasure: experiencing the present-moment beauty of life viscerally, through your awake senses. There’s sexual pleasure: you are a multi-faceted orgasmic being.
There’s fierce life-force in your loins and it can be harnessed. It’s your power to use and enjoy, you may just need reminding how to access it.
You Know You’re Playing Small And It’s Slowly Killing You
This is a great thing to know about yourself! It’s the first step in being able to move towards choices and actions that feel expansive, energizing, and uplifting. If you’re playing small, you may be tempted to think that gigantic life jolts are required in order to improve things.
Not so. Much like changing the direction of a giant ship, it’s small, regular baby steps that walk you towards your north star.
If You Just Read The Sub-Headings
Know this: If any of the above hit a nerve of realization, a. You’re not alone and b. Your life doesn’t have to carry on like this.
It’s incredibly difficult to work on and heal ourselves through our own blind spots, fears, and patterns. Having someone who’s sole purpose is to be an objective sounding board, inner-world guide, and cheerleader for your life is a superb investment in your own potential, success, and life trajectory.
In a wiser world, we’d all have access to this kind of help. For now, we have to advocate for ourselves and decide we’re worth it.