avatarJosh Spector

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Abstract

ow I survived racism, sexism, adoption, sexual abuse, small-ism (treated as <a href="https://readmedium.com/https-medium-com-celinel-for-the-record-big-little-person-129469db2bfe">lesser because I am small</a>) and neglect,” but the <b>gist of the</b> <b>takeaway </b>from this sharing is that when you “lose” a large chunk of your childhood and early formative adult years to strife or stressful circumstances, you feel “older” than what you are, and <b>YOU ARE</b>.</p><p id="e221">Your trauma has fast-tracked your spiritual “maturation” process, albeit with stressful twists and challenging turns.</p><p id="2584">You have been forced to deal with adult concepts and with unsafe situations, and while you put up barriers in order not to get hurt more; your Soul has sought out nooks and crannies in which the rose of your eternal Self can grow.</p><p id="f658">There has been no time for taking it easy.</p><p id="0ba9">There has been little time or energy for putting your feet up.</p><p id="6ea9">It’s hammer time.</p><p id="a2a2">You are a survivor.</p><p id="4845">Your Essence was poured into making things fit into a misfit jigsaw puzzle; the greatest puzzle of your life is: <b>the puzzle of who am I?</b></p><p id="0c2b">Not, why me?</p><p id="6a32">Not why not he or she, but what the hell is going on here and now, with me?</p><p id="ffb6">The Soul was not designed to be confused. The Self was not designed to be unloved.</p><figure id="cdda"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*YogBihLw4GFgg1FugiGgUg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@gabebarletta?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Gabriel Barletta</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/search/photos/soul?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="ca28">The mental and emotional bodies have to catch up with the “<b>wisen</b>-<b>ing” </b>Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="0e8e">Your Soul struggled to partner with the drag of the thoughts and emotions which unwittingly denied the largess of the Soul.</p><p id="854e">Soul purpose wrapped itself around the challenges in your life, as body and mind faced life or death choices.</p><p id="703a">“Can I trust this person?”</p><p id="6230">“What does he/she really want?”</p><p id="031a">What if I can’t give them what they want?”</p><p id="47c8">“What shall I do?”</p><p id="2471">“I’m bad, it’s my fault isn’t it?”</p><p id="b954"><b><i>And it often ends with: “I can’t do much right.”</i></b></p><p id="9252">While I aged physiologically, <b>from age fifteen</b> you could say that I was a curious mix of “startled rabbit under the car headlights” and “defiant, solemn, serious adult person.”</p><figure id="6a07"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*n-lWdFEBLqEkiBYmRdq6hQ.jpeg"><figcaption>The author at age 15. Photo provided by the author.</figcaption></figure><p id="60f1">If someone had looked closely, they would have seen the vulnerability and the fright and hurt beneath the veneer of the tough “I’m a normal competent person” that I exhibited, mask-like.</p><p id="5b0c">So, in a way “I grew up before my time.”</p><p id="2c25">I had to reflect, research, strategize, read, plan, try out, up-turn, review, think, meditate, reach out, cogitate, be brave, learn to trust, connect, join up, cry, pray, shout, throw things around, speak out, face serious health issues, forgive myself, write, teach; and even consider ending my own life, in order to survive.</p><h1 id="b49b">The Takeaway: Stay Young by Looking After Yourself and Honoring Yourself</h1><p id="d488" type="7">Surviving is growing if you learn that from your unique pathway that you have become of age spiritually.</p><p id="0543">You have made it. Give yourself a pat on the back.</p><p id="7c51">In extraordinary ways, your Soul has tethered your body and mind to your essence, through a fast-track maturation of Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="6fee"><b>You have in a way aged, and now are free to become younger.</b></p><p id="1999">Use your wisdom from your experiences to understand that you dealt the best you could with the forces of external circumstances upon you, in tandem with being subjected to the strictures of society, and having challenges on your road to growth compounded by the fears and doubts and wants of individuals.</p><p id="e5f3"><b>You did nothing wrong. You are timeless, and herein real peace lies.</b></p><p id="450a">Focus your high beams on your Renaissance.</p><p id="8d69">The time will come, if it hasn’t already when your body intelligence will give you a God-almighty shove, inciting you to take care of yourself, body, lock, stock, and Soul.</p><p id="edc9" type="7">The time will come when you will feel

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as though you have lived an age, and it is time then for you to turn your thoughts and living toward being youthful.</p><p id="5863">At 55 years of age I have entered my new world, a new healthy eating lifestyle and a planned exercise regime, having finally shed the last vestige of guilt over nothing that I had done to cause abuse of myself and other children in my adoptive family.</p><p id="4d20">It took 44 years of resisting me.</p><p id="6948">Now I am growing younger, for age, is in the being of the holder.</p><p id="12a6">I have learned that true worth comes from loving yourself as well as from caring about and understanding and supporting others and the worlds we live in.</p><p id="231c">Yes, biologically, I am ageing, but my Spirit or Soul is now free.</p><p id="81ee">With my body, mind and Soul no longer fettered by the chains of remorse or doubt or fear, as my Soul learned its lessons in lurches and steps, that we are all of one energy, and that my mission is to empathize with others (due to my personal experiences), as well as to care for and grow myself, and water my own happiness and comfort, I am now refreshed.</p><p id="f3c0"><b><i>When you are free to be yourself, you know and reach for what you really want and need, and you feel a Lightness of Being.</i></b></p><p id="89b9">Your mind becomes clear, your outlook positive, and your Soul no longer burdened.</p><figure id="6252"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*grTRoCkk66wzTAZvaeSHDw.jpeg"><figcaption>Is your glass half empty or half full? Photo from <a href="http://Image by <a href=" https:="" pixabay.com="" users="" geralt-9301="" ?utm_source="link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=300558"">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=300558">Pixabay</a>">Pixabay.</figcaption></figure><p id="b590">If life has dealt you a rough blow, get as much quality help as you can, and refine your coping strategies and your safe, healthy living in your own supportive inimitable or unique ways.</p><p id="0f74">Even if you are shy and reserved and frightened, break out now and tell your loved ones that you need proper and trusted help, or find someone or some source that can truly or honestly help you.</p><p id="4a0c">The effects are cumulative, meaning seek and take positive growth opportunities as they arise along your timeline, and “interest” will be added or over time the positive or supportive results will magnify.</p><p id="4ce2">The wounds to your spiritual self may not be undone in a week or a day, or even in a month. However, you must recognize that there are stepping stones along your pathway.</p><p id="7b18">They will be there.</p><p id="18cf">Cultivate gratitude for your blessings and keep the spark of your divinity going.</p><p id="eb7f">Take the steps to dissolve any thoughts, physical tensions, and feelings of lack of self-worth or of having done wrong.</p><p id="64af">Look after your body, mind, and Soul.</p><p id="f1ec">You will surely and steadily return to the “youth” of joy at simple things, appreciation for the whole, and having a fresh and curious and positive outlook on Life, unrestrained by collective norms and expectations.</p><p id="aab4">This is the real You, forever young. Stay free.</p><figure id="dc1d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*utnNSnUJUaWCAq2V-G4MzA.jpeg"><figcaption>The author aged 7</figcaption></figure><div id="6fc1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://starstruckworld.wordpress.com/conceive-believe-achieve/"> <div> <div> <h2>undefined</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*vVduIn_gHYYgoupl)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="4161">© No part of this work can be reproduced without permission from the author.</p><figure id="bcc9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*QP1JZ0GOBdyE2uOr-05X7Q.jpeg"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="c9d8"><b>About the Author</b></p><p id="ef8d"><i>Celine Lai was born in Malaya and is the oldest inter-country adopted person in Australia. She loves reading and writing, and runs WordPress blogs and writes technical documents. She blogs mainly on <a href="https://facinatingamazinganimals.com/">Fascinating Animals</a>.</i></p><p id="1989"><a href="https://forms.gle/ysoyKXWBWmb1yVNN9">Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter to be notified of my new Stories</a></p></article></body>

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10 Ideas Worth Sharing This Week

Ideas about persuasion, job hunting, social media, and more.

Each week I share 10 ideas with my newsletter subscribers. Following is this week’s newsletter — sign up here to get future issues.

“The market for something to believe in is infinite.” — Hugh MacLeod

This week’s ideas include everything from how to persuade people, to how small changes can have a big impact on your life, to how to get the job you want.

Let’s do it…

1. AN ANALYSIS OF HOW PEOPLE USE FACEBOOK vs. INSTAGRAM

“For people who use both feeds equally, Facebook better satisfies their need for empowerment, recognition, and connection, and Instagram more strongly fulfills their desire for fun, relaxation and discovery.”

This recent study examined what people look for when they use these two social platforms. It found concrete differences that should influence the content you create for each platform and the way you use them for marketing.

It also includes this amazing stat: 20% of Americans’ time on mobile is spent on Facebook and Instagram.

Speaking of Facebook, another article that caught my eye recently is Ryan Holmes’ breakdown of Facebook’s rebirth as a professional network.

2. FOUR WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR RESUME

“Your accomplishments matter more than your responsibilities. Nobody cares what you were assigned to do in previous jobs, they care what you did with those opportunities.”

I’ve reviewed several friends’ resumes recently and didn’t love what I saw.

I noticed most them undersold themselves and I thought I’d share some simple suggestions for how you can improve your resume and increase your chances of landing the new job you want.

3. HOW MAKING MICRO CHANGES CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

“We struggle to change our behavior because our environments are designed to be a constant reminder of who we once were as opposed to who we want to be.”

I’m a big believer that little things matter and this Srinivas Rao post echoes that belief.

In it, he explains how small changes — things as simple as getting a new wallet or bedsheets — can have a huge positive impact in your life.

4. PRESTON SMILES IS A PERSON YOU SHOULD KNOW

“Take responsibility for something that happens 10 thousand miles away. It’s super empowering.”

Preston Smiles is an author and “motivational messenger” who’s as positive a person as you’ll ever meet.

In my profile of him, you’ll learn why he thinks whatever you intensely believe becomes your reality, why vulnerability is the key to your personal freedom, and how the need to prove you’re right can be the downfall of great things.

5. HOW TO PERSUADE PEOPLE

“How do we learn to harness the power of persuasion? Through looking at the people who persuade you to do things you never thought you would.”

This Jory MacKay post is a deep dive into how con artists, sales people, and politicians persuade us to do things and what we can learn from that.

He boils it down to five principles of persuasion that include everything from knowing who you’re up against to changing the conversation.

6. HOW TO WRITE HEADLINES PEOPLE WILL CLICK

“Our headline’s promise needs to be very specific because our audience is living a fast-paced life. They want assurance that they’re about to read the right thing. And that guarantee should come from your headline.”

This Rand owens post might be the most extensive thing I’ve ever read about headline writing — and, as bizarre as it sounds, I’ve read a LOT about headline writing over the years.

In addition to a great breakdown of the importance of headlines, it includes a ton of resources and tips for improving your headlines so they drive as many relevant clicks as possible.

7. IT TURNS OUT THERE ARE ONLY SIX STORIES IN THE WORLD

“Their techniques all point to the existence of six basic emotional arcs that form the building blocks of more complex stories.”

Creating a great story may not be as complicated as it seems.

The MIT Technology Review shares the results of a data-mining study that analyzed 1,700 stories and discovered they’re all based on the same six basic emotional arcs.

8. danah boyd IS A PERSON YOU SHOULD KNOW

“Today’s youth aren’t lazy. They want to socialize and they want to interact. They are just given too few opportunities to do so.”

danah boyd is a principal researcher at Microsoft Research and an expert on how teens interact with technology.

In my profile of her, you’ll learn why she thinks teachers must help teens think critically about social media, how teens use of social media is impacted by race and class, and why parental anxieties about technology are dangerous.

9. TALENT AGENCIES ARE BECOMING MEDIA COMPANIES

“Talent representation has always been a business where your key assets — your clients — can walk out the door.”

Talent manager George Ruiz explains why we’re seeing a shift within major talent agencies who are increasingly looking to become media companies by acquiring properties like the UFC.

As Hollywood’s margins have tightened, the agencies are scrambling to secure their future and find new revenue streams because the commission business ain’t what it used to be.

10. WANT SOMEONE TO INVEST IN YOU? MAKE THEM JEALOUS.

“Before I invest, I need to see a concept, an approach, or a strategy that makes me say, ‘Dammit. I wish I were doing that.’”

Venture capitalist Ben Lerer shares one of his key investment strategies — to invest in things that make him jealous.

In this post he explains what it takes to attract him to a project and how he can pick up on the difference between real and fake confidence in the entrepreneurs who pitch him.

Please hit that heart button if you enjoyed these ideas — thanks!

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