9 Costly Mistakes You Should Avoid in Life

They often come with a heavy price

Some mistakes in life are so costly that the best thing you can do is avoid them at all costs. Here are nine that I’ve found:

Getting Into a Relationship With Someone Who Is Hung Up With Their Ex

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is getting into a romantic relationship with someone who is still hung up on their ex.

It’s an unhealthy relationship that will waste your time and drain your mental and emotional energy.

If someone is yet to heal or move on from their past relationship, they’ll find it difficult to commit to you.

Their unresolved feelings for their ex will hinder them from giving you their full attention and love. They’ll constantly bring their ex into your conversations and will go as far as comparing you to them.

They’ll also want to establish a tradition with you that they started with their ex. You’ll often hear things like, “That’s what me and my ex used to do.”

No matter how you feel about the person, let them go.

It’s not your job to fix or heal them from their trauma. Don’t try to be a hero; give them the support they need from a distance.

If you get too emotionally attached, you’ll wear yourself out and get burned.

Letting Anger Make You Act in Revenge

Anger is a strong negative emotion that can drive people into revenge.

Revenge means going out of your way to retaliate against or harm someone who did something bad.

According to Ron Potter-Efron, author of “Angry All the Time,” hate begins with anger.

Here’s how: You feel upset about something. You blame someone else for causing the problem. The problem doesn’t get solved, and you get angrier. You can’t stop thinking about it.

You begin to resent the person and dwell on what they did to you. The injuries feel unforgivable, and the resentment turns into hate, like slowly hardening concrete.

Your attitude toward them change and nothing they say or do makes a difference.

And then we make the mistake of thinking that if we just got back at the person, we’d feel happier.

The truth is, revenge may provide temporary satisfaction, but it won’t make you happier or bring the closure you need to move forward.

Instead, It prolongs the unpleasantness of the original offense. As Francis Bacon said, “A man that studieth revenge, keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal.”

Revenge is energy. Channel that energy into your goals. Put it toward hustling to get what you want. Put it toward growth.

Relationship With Someone With an incongruent value system

Most people underrate the role of value congruence in relationships.

They think that because they really love someone, having solid core values for the relationship isn’t that important.

No matter how strong the chemistry is between two people, value alignment is the framework for a healthy relationship.

Incongruence in values means the two people have a significant gulf in beliefs and priorities between them.

This one wants this, and the other person wants something else. In such a situation, constant clashes are inevitable and can may lead to breakup.

Don’t make the mistake of letting “love” blind you. If you’re always on a different page on important things that matter to you, making decisions will feel like having a bad dream.

Whether it’s about work, having kids, money, or extended family involvement, it’s difficult to make such a relationship work.

Figure out your own core values and find someone who matches them.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything. It’s okay to have differences in preferences and interests.

But make sure you and your partner are clear about a few core values from the start. It will save you from pain.

Sacrificing Your Passions For The Sake of Others

Ever heard someone say they can’t do [X] because [Y] doesn’t want it?

Many people are at this table: they hold back or even give up on their passion just because someone else doesn’t approve of it. It’s like putting out your own fire to keep another person warm.

Many of us have dreams — something we’re passionate about that we’d love to pursue — whether it’s acting, gardening, taking care of the elderly, writing,

Sacrificing your passion because your family doesn’t approve of it, to avoid disappointing anyone, or because you’re afraid of criticism is a sure path to disappointing yourself later.

Mark Twain once said:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do."

Regardless of what your goals and dreams are, you don’t need the approval of anyone to pursue them and succeed. You don’t need everybody to like you or accept what you’re doing.

You only need to have faith in yourself, have a clear plan, be willing to learn, and commit to doing everything you can, one step at a time, to achieve your goals.

Life’s too short to live to someone else’s expectations. If you have an itch for something, go for it, even if others don’t understand at first

Don’t let other people’s fear and opinions hold you back.

Taking Your Health For Granted

Most of us are so caught up with our daily grinds and trying to earn a living that we don’t realize how much damage we’re doing to our bodies.

We take our health for granted and think we’re invincible. We ignore signs of fatigue, stay up late, skip regular check-ups, indulge in unhealthy habits, and just fail to prioritize self-care.

This is a grave mistake that can lead to long-term consequences and, thus, should be avoided at all costs.

No matter how grand your goals and aspirations are, you need to be in sound health to do anything about them. There’s nothing in this life that can take the place of your health.

So, take charge of your health. Nurture your body and mind with good food, exercise, and enough rest. Get regular check-ups and listen to your body when it tells you something’s not right.

Spending Too Much Time on Screens

If you’re one of those who can’t go a minute without looking at their screen, I have a message for you:

Staring at screens for extended periods can lead to digital eye strain, also known as “computer vision syndrome (CVS).”

I get it; technology has become a big part of our lives, and it’s tough to resist the urge to constantly check our phones, tablets, and computers.

But all that screen time can take a toll on your eyes and your overall well-being.

Research from The Vision Council shows that more than 83% of people use digital devices for more than two hours per day.

The result is that more than 60% of people experience symptoms of CVS, such as eye strain, blurred vision, dry eyes, and headaches.

Our eyes have evolved to process large amounts of natural light, but artificial blue light is a whole different story.

They can lead to sleep problems, weight gain, and, of course, eye strain.

If you’re overexposing your eyes to screens, it’s a mistake you might regret later.

Practice the 20-20-20 rule for healthy digital device use:

• Take a 20-second break from the screen every 20 minutes and look at something 20 feet away.

It’s also a good excuse to stand up and move your body around at the same time you’re giving your eyes a break from the screen.

If you’re sitting close to a window, use the opportunity to look out and see what’s going on outside. Or, better yet, go outside and take a short walk.

Bottling Up Your Emotions

One of the major causes of mental health problems is the inability to fully express our emotions.

When we suppress or bottle up our feelings, they build up over time, and impact our mental health and well-being.

For instance, say you’re sad about something someone did or said but decide to pretend everything is okay.

Maybe because you’re afraid of being judged or dismissed, so you keep your emotions hidden.

Over time, this can metamorphose into resentment and raise your stress, anxiety, and depression, and make you sick.

Emotions are messages; they let you know what’s going on inside your body at any point in time.

Feeling happy is your body’s way of telling you something joyful is happening. Sadness, anger, or anxiety convey that something might be troubling you or causing discomfort.

So, ignoring or dismissing them is a mistake because it prevents you from learning vital lessons about yourself.

Stop suppressing or invalidating your feelings. If you love someone, let them know about it. If you’re uncomfortable with something, say it. By all means, give your emotions their fullest expression.

It might not be easy, but you’ll save yourself some regrets down the road.

Failing To Try Something New That Can Change Your Life

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can propel you to new possibilities or hold you back from realizing your full potential.

Many people allow fear to cripple them. They let their fear create mental barriers that keep them stuck in their comfort zones, afraid to take chances or pursue their dreams.

For instance, all your life, you’ve always dreamed of starting a baking business, but fear holds you back. It whispers, "What if I am not good enough? What if people don’t like my treats? What if I fail?”

So you continue working at a job you don’t find fulfilling and miss out on the chance to pursue your passion.

Whether your goal is to start baking, make new friends, or pursue a degree, if you stay in your comfort zone out of fear, you’ll never know what could happen.

Being able to face your fears and try new things helps you learn more about yourself and the world than if you did the same thing over and over.

Even if you tried and failed, so what? The worst that can happen is that you’re wrong. If that’s the case, you’ll have the time to make amends. But more importantly, you’ll avoid the regret of not trying at all.

Instead of wondering “what if,” take action and discover what truly awaits you on the other side of fear.

Sacrificing Your Relationship For Career Success

One of the biggest obstacles to a healthy relationship is career obsession.

We sometimes get so caught up in climbing the career ladder that we forget the people in our lives who need our attention, love, and care.

The time we spend with our loved ones is priceless; even more valuable than all the money in the world.

Sacrificing those shared moments is a grave mistake because, while your career may fade, those you neglected will always be there.

We often underestimate how much our absence can hurt our spouse, kids, relatives, and friends.

We think that if we amass great wealth and give our loved ones fancy gifts and luxuries, then we have solved their problems.

All the gifts and money won’t take the place of your love, attention, and genuine presence in their lives.

Children find it very difficult to recover from the lack of love and attention they didn’t get from their absent parents.

Your loved ones want to feel loved, understood, and valued. They want to share moments with you, laugh, and make memories together.

Make it a priority to spend time to listen to them. Don’t be too busy to make room in your day for them.

When it’s all said and done, the best gift you can give them is your presence in their lives. Money can’t buy the love and connection that comes from simply being there when they need you.

Final Thought

Most things in life require balance. If you’re not careful, it’s possible to go too far to the left or right and cause yourself avoidable pain or regret.

The key to wellness is knowing when to cut back on something and not derail other important areas of your life by focusing on one goal.

Balance is everything.