Language, This Happened To Me, Humor
10 British Phrases That Most Americans Will Not Understand
Written by a Dual Citizen
I live in New York and have spent most of my life living in the United States; however, I am originally from England. I was born on a US military base in the United Kingdom, making me a dual citizen. My mother is British, and my father is an American she met when stationed overseas. I clearly remember being three years old when my father got out of the service, moving us from Virginia to settle in his home state of Massachusetts.
I recall my placement in speech classes when I was a small child in first grade. I was not pronouncing certain words correctly, or at least that is what my teachers in school told me. At the time, I did not understand. My parents taught me the basics at home, so I listened. Yet, in school, I had to go to a particular little room and work with a speech therapist because I pronounced certain words like “tomato,” “water,” and “banana” incorrectly. Yes, this wasn’t very clear to me as a little girl since I took after my mother and how she pronounced things. I did not comprehend at the time that this would not be acceptable in American school systems.
The funny thing in all of this is that I would go to school and face correction, then go home to be corrected again. When I asked my parents who was correct, my mother or the school, they answered both! You can imagine how frustrating this must have been for a six-year-old, but somehow I got through speech class and still managed to go home, switching my phrasing back to “Proper English!” This experience has proven to be both comical and nerve-wracking throughout my life, especially as I got older and began enjoying writing.
In the spirit of my British/ American roots, I thought it would be neat to touch on 10 British phrases that most Americans will not understand. Fair warning: some may sound strange, funny, or even ridiculous!
1. “Going for a fag”- I chose this one first because I have a humorous experience to tell. When I was 12, my family and I went to England on holiday (or vacation), and my uncle told my Mum he was going for a fag. My eyes were bulging out of my head in absolute mortification because the word “fag” was a naughty word that would land me in loads of trouble if I ever said it. My Mum noticed my despair and pulled me aside to tell me that my uncle would have a cigarette. Yes, fag is the British word for a cigarette and is not meant as a derogatory word to call a gay person. I often reflect on this experience and laugh simply because this one word has a drastic difference living overseas.
2. “I am quite pissed”- In America, this term is spoken by someone feeling more than just a little bit agitated. Most of us say it when we are downright angry. If a British person tells you they are feeling pissed, it means that they are intoxicated or drunk, and perhaps it is time for them to get some water.
3. “I need to spend a penny. Where is the loo?”- You might be saying to yourself, “What the heck is this chick talking about?” Do not worry. This has absolutely nothing to do with finding a place to spend any money, let alone a mere penny. I need to spend a penny means that the person speaking needs to use a toilet, and the word “loo” is British for the restroom. I have always enjoyed this one.
4. “I’m quids in”/“I’m skint”/” Have you got any dosh?”- I know these three phrases may have you baffled but allow me to clarify. In America, “I’m quids in” will translate to a person who has come into a bit of money. “I’m skint” is another way of saying that you have no money or are broke. Perhaps you guessed by now, but “have you got any dosh?” means that the speaker is asking for some cash.
5. “Having a good old chinwag” refers to having a long conversation but not about essential matters. It suggests more meaningless chatter about gossip. “Chinwag” means chin movement and is said to have roots in the Victorian era.
6. “Careful, he’s on the chunder bus!”- No, this has nothing to do with a bus or any transportation whatsoever. This British phrase warns that a person is about to be sick or throw up! Perhaps an American saying they are about “to toss their cookies “sounds peculiar to a Brit.
7. “I am totally cack-handed”- This funny-sounding term means one is awkward or clumsy. According to Merriam Webster and American Heritage, the cack in cack-handed comes from the English dialect” Keck,” meaning awkward, from Old Norse” Keikir,” meaning bent backward. Many British works of reference disagree with the previous statement saying association with” cack “is an old British term for excrement or dung. In ancient traditions, it was customary for right-handed people to reserve the left hand for cleaning up after themselves, as with a bowel movement saving the right hand for everything else. Therefore, left-handed people are considered cack-handed or backward.
8. “Its brass monkeys out there!”- is a humorous British phrase meaning it is freezing outside. The original term “To freeze the balls off a brass monkey” refers to when warships carried iron cannons requiring cannon balls nearby. The theory suggests that the cannonballs were in a pyramid shape with one resting on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. A brass plate called a “monkey” with sixteen indentations blocked the balls from moving away. When temperatures were frigid, the brass indentations would contract to cause the balls to escape deeming the phrase “it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.” Much of this idea has been disproven, leaving behind a quirky tale and a funny saying.
9. “It’s all gone pear-shaped”- This is a saying that means something has gone wrong. Its origins date in British English in the late 1940s or early 1950s and are related to training aircraft pilots. At some point in training, the trainees had to make complicated loops. However, many of the trainee’s outlines were pear-shaped instead of perfecting the circular pattern.
10. “Rumpo, “Rumpy- pumpy,” “Good rogering,” or “how’s your father?”- All of these probably sound pretty crazy, and the explanation may sound even insane to an American. These three phrases all pertain to sexual relations. “Rumpo” and the rhyming couplet became popular in the 1980s, and the origin lies in the BBC ( British Broadcasting Corporation) radio series Round The Horne weekly 1965- 1968. A character in the show named Rambling Sid Rumpo would perform lewd songs filled with sexual innuendos, so much so that his name penned the slang expressions for sexual intercourse.
“Good rogering” pertains to having sex with a woman, and the word “roger” is an older term for penis. Rogering is an upper-middle-class term about chambermaids who were obedient enough to allow the master of the house to have sex with them.
“How’s your father?” is an outdated term from the Second World War. Soldiers would solicit elderly French Madames, some of whom were old enough for intimacy during the First World War. The inference is that the son could go where the father has already been. Yes, disgusting!
As you can see, plenty of British phrases are foreign to Americans, yet both countries speak English. I had the honor and pleasure of exposure to both worlds in my upbringing, even though I sometimes stumbled in school with pronunciation and spelling. As an adult, I am well-adjusted with proper American English but choose to embrace certain British words and phrases, taking after my Mum. Sometimes people will stop me when I speak, asking me where I am from, which does not bother me. I go with the flow and do whatever comes naturally to me. I hope you have enjoyed this piece, and until next time, I will not say goodbye simply because I never do. I prefer and always say toodle pip instead!
Originally published at https://vocal.media.
