1 Reason Why It Isn’t Worth When People Change You — 3 Tips How To Be Happy
These days, we, or at least the most of us, are on social media. We make beautiful pictures to show the world how wonderful our lives are, what we love to do and what kind of friend we have.
We don’t post on social media what really bothers us or what goes wrong or how we really feel, who we really are. At least, most of us don’t do that. It makes that we live toxicity in our real life as well as online. Online you can get serious comments under your posts. When you get numerous bad comments, you could believe these bad comments. It hurts you, but in the meantime, you think you are that way.
People want to see you in another way, the person they think is perfect. As people say something to you they really want to do or they just they want you to be like them, so they try to convince you to do something just to be like them.
You are doing a lot what they want you to do and you change in someone you’re not. In the beginning, you don’t think about it, only that you want to be nice for others. When you do it often, people will think you will do everything for them. And when you do it a lot, your followers think you’ll do anything they want you to do.
It’s the same in real life. When your spouse asks you to clean the house, you could say no, when he asks it again with a puppy face, you still say no. Later that day he gets angry because he sees the house isn’t cleaned up. You clean it up because you don’t want your spouse to be angry. Now your spouse knows that he gets everything when he makes a puppy face.
Then he gets angry every time you didn’t clean up or you didn’t do what he wanted you to do. He, on the other side, is doing nothing at all to clean up the house. He complaints to you every time, while he doesn’t do anything. In the next weeks, month or years he asks you other things to do and you do it because you won’t get any fights with him. You’ll be treated like a slave. You accept it, because you don’t know what to do and thinks it should be life.
When someone comments on your shirt, who says you should wear blouses with pants instead of a shirt with jeans — because it looks better and everyone has one of them too — every week twice. In the first place you don’t want to give in, but in the end, you still give in to stop the complaints. The next time you buy the same kind of clothes the other people were telling you to buy, so nobody complains again. Then it happens that you do everything someone else wants you to do. You don’t like the complaints, so you always give in. You don’t want to disappoint anybody. So, you think giving in is the only option for you.
You see, people are changing you for someone they want to see in you. They make some comments you don’t like. They’re trying to change you. In all these years you’re with them, they take advantage of your personality. You realize that you’re not the person and you want to be in your life.
At someday, you realize you completely lost yourself. You don’t know who you are anymore. Now you’re in a phase that you are finding friends who tell you that you’re worth it being a human being. There are people who are willing to be your friend, no matter what happens.
Here are three tips about how to be yourself (again):
- Cut out all the people that are not worth being in your life.
- Do whatever makes you happy.
- Make friends that support you, no matter what.
Cut out all the people that are not worth being in your life
When you cut out all the friends who are not worth it being in your life anymore, you feel a little bit empty but at one day, you feel free.
Do whatever makes you happy
Always do whatever makes you happy, pick up a hobby you did when you were a child. Travel around to places you always wanted to go. Make new friends.
Make friends that support you, no matter what
Surround yourself with people who support you and who you want to support. That is the basis of a longlasting friendship.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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