Mental Health ▪ Depression ▪ Life-Lessons

1.5 Years Of Depression Taught Me Hard Facts Through Rough Experiences

It is a reality in many of our lives; acknowledge it

I’m not a psychiatrist; I’m not claiming to be. But as an individual who suffered through depression in his life, I have a personal obligation to myself to share some suffered notions that can help other people acknowledge the fact: depression is real, and if not treated properly, it can be a killer.

I’m writing it not as a directional piece to let everyone know how to deal with it but to emphasize its criticality. Depression, a taboo topic for some, a hidden part for many, and an illusion for many others, is real. And, today’s writing is all about understanding its disastrous impact upon our lives.

Some statistics in this regard

• 264+ million people of all ages suffer from depression globally.
• It is a leading cause of disability.
• More women are affected by depression than men.
• Close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year.
• Between 76% and 85% of people in low- and middle-income countries receive no treatment for their disorder.
• Depression is one of the priority conditions covered by WHO’s mental health Gap Action Programme (mhGAP).

Source: World Health Organization.

Personal story

A couple of years ago, I was in an entirely disastrous stage when depression marked its claw and about to grasp me completely. Several personal and professional factors triggered the vulnerable transformation at that time. During that time, my family and friends supported understanding my inner pain and helped to overcome the struggle.

After the situation got better, I wanted to know what worked and what didn’t. I wanted to know the things that helped me to overcome the scenario at that time. And, what I have learned throughout the process, I have written in the following.

Please recall again; I’m not a psychiatrist. However, I’m a bit knowledgeable about what happens during those troublesome moments because I had gone through painful experiences.

The following contains a brief of those aspects.

Anyone can fall under depressed state.

Even if you are a celebrity, a rich person, or having an abundance of joy in your life without regrets, depression can get you. It just requires some triggers to circulate inside your mind from an issue, an incident, a particular sorrow, unhappiness, or a small failure.

Examples include famous figures like Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill, who experienced depression in their lives (link: politicians, who battled depression). Celebrities like Eminem, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, J.K. Rowling — all have gone through a depression state (celebrities who battled depression).

So, it is better to express the burden if you feel depressed and to get some help.

Poverty, failure, relationship break-ups are not the only causes that can make you depressed.

There are multiple other reasons we often overlook. It can be caused by a small failure, a comparison with others, running behind success, addictions, difficulties in different places, etc.

Hiding even the slightest notion of it will spread its root.

If anyone ignores the signs and continues to ignore it, the root will spread and have a more devastating impact on the person. Ignorance is not bliss in this case.

I had also hidden the depressed state for a year, and it finally caught me completely.

Depression impacts people around you.

People around the depressed person will feel its rage too. Family members and friends will notice the negative impact on their lives. In the worst-case scenario, it can make the connected people depressed too, or the depressed person can take some steps, which can create a real adverse impact on others’ lives.

My family and friends had experienced the impact thoroughly. My girlfriend was living abroad, but the amount of stress also impacted her at that time. Lots of bitter experience happened within my inner circle, where I had behaved entirely in utter negative notions. My parents also felt the negative impacts, as I was almost absent from home for 6–7 months in a row.

Depression can come back, even after appropriately treated.

The human mind and psychology are unique and complex. Even if it is treated with proper care, it can come back any-time, as inside the memory cell (brain-cells), the codes are somehow lying in a dormant condition. It just needs the wrong call to wake up.

That’s why true love, care, and compassion are critical to support in the post-depression state. And also to understand that as it might come back, to look onto the possible symptoms upfront.

If you are feeling depressed, get some expert help.

Family members and friends can help ease the burden, but please visit a psychiatrist to talk to and get expert advice if you have the option. The slightest wrong guidance can ruin the possibility of overcoming stress.

When I realized my mental state was disturbed, my inner circle helped me get the proper care and guidance. Yes, sometimes they had provided me pieces of advice too, but later on, they had been careful in that regard.

Mindfulness can reduce it or erase it, but it requires guidance from experts or specialists.

The same as above, it requires proper guidance. A coach or a mentor can help you succeed in your career or improve a football team’s performance. A spiritual guru guides people to attain their divine path, so the same goes for this aspect.

It is okay to express.

Depression silently kills, and one of the devastating impacts is not to share the pain with other people, which makes it difficult to understand it at first. So, it is essential to uphold an open culture within your family and friends so that it becomes easier for a person to share with their beloved once s/he feels the notion of depression.

If I had expressed a year earlier, I would have avoided the mental pressure and burden earlier.

It is essential to listen (and observe).

If this reality impacts an individual, the people around that personnel require to listen carefully. Ignoring or not listening to the facts will worsen the scenario for sure.

Positivity helps to reduce the burden, but don’t push it.

Some of the people around a depressed person think that if they drive the positive aspects, the depression will be gone automatically. It’s not that easy; in-fact, pushing again and again, might impact negatively.

In some instances, people tried to compare how my life was blessed, and it was a problem that would go away smoothly. But, I wasn’t ready to listen to their positive tales.

Please remember that a depressed person is not in a stable state of mind, so normalcy sometimes is not familiar to that person during that state.

Other facts that my family and friends realized during that vulnerable time:

• The symptoms often come earlier, and those might be a combination of mental and physical health breakdown. I was suffering from anxiety, memory loss, concentration-loss in work, and weight gain.
• Patience is one of the key elements; the depression state doesn’t go away that easily, so the surrounding people require to keep their patience to help and to support.
• Compassionate listening is essential, along with a realistic support mechanism. That time, I used to speak with people hours after hours, and most of them were supportive of listening to my tales. Giving advice is a wrong suggestion, as a depressed person doesn’t want to go through the process.
• When I was depressed, I thought of not sharing my side of the story, as I didn’t want to burden others. I was in complete withdrawal mode, and I thought sharing my frustration will be treated as sympathy.
• I felt less energy during that time, so I couldn’t push a deadline, was reluctant to join in any social gathering, and mood-swing was often a thing for me. I had hurt so many people during that time with my words, which I wouldn’t have in a stable state.
• One of the other things that I experienced was easily angered when someone tried to complete my sentence when I was speaking. A depressed person once opened up wants other people to listen to their story, rather than being advised or guided on a direction. You have to be careful about supporting the person as carefully handled guidance is of utmost importance.

There are lots of other critical aspects that require our attention. It is not possible to implement all the positiveness into our life; that’s an illusion. But knowing the factors and what’s critical to address and how to address is essential here.

Most of the time, a depressed person doesn’t know that s/he is depressed, but the people around can sense it. And in that regard, it is crucial to carefully discover, speak, and listen to truly help the person overcome the pain.

May you never experience the depressed state in your life. And, even if you encounter, remember, this thy shall pass if given a chance to your loved ones to support you. Remember, life is beautiful, and a lot to offer to enjoy and to be remembered.

Stay safe and well — best wishes to everyone.

And, smile.