003 — On Friends, Not Followers

Summary

The article "On Friends, Not Followers (Stoic Wisdom 003)" emphasizes the importance of having true friends who provide constructive feedback over amassing a large number of social media followers who merely consume content without contributing to personal growth.

Abstract

In the modern adaptation of Stoic philosophy, the author addresses the reader, Deuteros, on the value of true friendship versus the superficiality of social media followings. The article argues that a true friend will offer honest criticism and support one's well-being, unlike followers who are likened to a consuming crowd. It suggests that the acclaim of the masses does not equate to wisdom or moral correctness, drawing parallels with the unreflective nature of mobs and the misguided approval of politicians by the public. The piece underscores that the number of likes or shares on social media does not validate the truth or worth of one's actions, using examples such as political decisions and dinner party generosity to illustrate how large approval can be misleading. Ultimately, the author advises that sincere praise from a knowledgeable friend is far more valuable than the fleeting adoration of a crowd.

Opinions

Followers on social media are compared to consumers who wish to 'devour' the content creator, contrasting with true friends who desire to see the individual nourished and well.
The pursuit of mass acclamation is seen as futile since wisdom is rare among individuals and even less likely to be found in large groups.
The masses are depicted as one step removed from a mob, lacking moral judgment and simply following the momentum of the moment.
Political examples are used to illustrate that majority approval does not necessarily indicate wise or ethical decisions.
The article posits that a single true friend, who is willing to point out one's follies, is more beneficial than numerous followers or acquaintances.
It is suggested that the validation sought from social media metrics such as upvotes, shares, and likes is superficial and can lead to misguided perceptions of truth and self-worth.
The author emphasizes the value of a friend who is willing to risk disapproval to offer honest feedback, advocating for the importance of listening to and valuing such constructive criticism.

A true friend will tell you when you are being a fool

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Greetings Deuteros!

You ask whether to congratulate the latest pop star to attract one hundred million Twitter followers. Rather offer your condolences to Justin Bieber than your praise.

Followers want nothing more than to consume you, while a friend wants to see you nourished. Do not celebrate another cannibal joining the banquet when you are the main dish.

“But,” you say, “am I not made greater by the acclamation of the masses?” If wisdom is rare in individuals, even fainter is your chance of finding it among the multitude.

This is because the masses are but one step removed from the mob, and the mob knows no morals. The mob knows only that it must do more of whatever it is doing at that moment.

Better a single voice speaking reason, thereby calming the passions of the throng, than a stadium of spectators cheering the games along.

“But my post was upvoted a hundred times, and shared by two hundred more!” I hear you already. “Surely that demonstrates the truth of what I say.”

I tell you, look at our politicians raining cash down upon a welcoming public. Should Congress take comfort in the wisdom of its course because polls show a majority approve?

Say you offer guests at your next dinner party the boon of carrying away the silver plates. Surely a supermajority of them will upvote your largesse. Now just imagine schoolchildren’s universal chorus of likes when you declare candy for lunch and homework is forbidden.

The only thing such numbers tell us is that a great number of people can be greatly wrong about a great many things.

A true friend will tell you when you are being a fool. A true friend will risk your ire by not praising that which is not praiseworthy.

You do not need a thousand to point out your flaws. A single friend will do, if they truly know you and if you listen truly.

And better the heartfelt praise of a single one who knows you, than the thunderous applause of thousands who are blind.

Be well.

And if reading this gave you a happy moment, you can say thanks here.

A version of this story was originally published on Klugne.

Moral Letters for Modern Times

On Friends, Not Followers (Stoic Wisdom 003)

A true friend will tell you when you are being a fool